


Doochary Bows

by deawrites



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Explicit Language, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-27 04:35:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 31,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10801830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites
Summary: Jim is wounded on the job and nearly dies. During the recovery process he travels to Doochary Donegal and meets one Harvey Bullock.





	1. Arrival in Doochary

**Author's Note:**

> NOTES: Doochary Donegal is a real place on the river and seven kilometers from Glenveigh Castle. For this story, the location is more mountainous and barren. Everything/everyone else is fabricated unless specified.
> 
> In this fic there will be A LOT of conversation between Harvey/Jim. If you came for something other than characterization and verbal interaction I suggest you read elsewhere. Sex will most likely appear in later chapters.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. All kudos, comments, suggestions and criticisms welcome.
> 
> Thank you to my muse, my wonderful wife that puts up with me talking about Harvey/Jim when all she wants to talk about is Sam/Dean. I love you Baby!

Chapter One: Arrival at Doochary

Jim Gordon once believed the worst thing that could happen to a cop was to be killed in the line of duty.  He now understood that there were fates worse than death out right. Enduring life as a cop **wounded** in the line of duty was pure hell on earth. To be alive and physically unable to perform his duties was more agonizing than the injuries themselves.  Stubborn, without family, and singularly dedicated to his job produced the perfect storm for Jim doing more harm to himself than good.  He had left the hospital too soon and begun immediate physical rehabilitation on his own terms. Out of his mind with set back upon set back to his healing, a casual friend suggested that Jim use the disability time off to travel. At first Jim had dismissed the notion as ridiculous, but as the days turned into impassible weeks Jim realized that had never been to many places in the United States outside of Gotham City, let alone the world.  Packing light and with a solid loan from his savings account Jim traveled overseas to Europe. A few countries into his travels Jim realized he owed his friend a vast debt.

 

He still limped heavily upon his right leg, yet he no longer required the use of a walker nor cane. If his gate drew some stares they were fleeting and Jim did his best to blend into the wood work or crowds of tourists and locals going about their business.  Every day he not only saw, learned, ate or did something new he worked to push himself beyond his comfort zones both physically and mentally.  Although the need to uphold justice forever lurked at the peripheral, Jim found that he was enjoying himself in spite of not working.  Gotham’s tendrils could not reach across the Atlantic Ocean so there were fleeing moments of peace; which were a balm to his pent-up frustrations.  For the first time in his life Jim allowed himself to live in the moment and see where his days took him. He didn’t have much of a planned itinerary and usually spent the previous night mapping out what he would like to do the following day. Yet it was not a ridged schedule to be kept to the letter. The ability to be flexible to change was something he internally balked at, but learning patience and flexibility were working wonders on his present outlook on life.

 

His first night in Dublin Ireland, a chance conversation in a restaurant with an adjoining table, led Jim to abandon the large city and travel to the Northwest potion of the country into Donegal.  The drive was lengthy but the scenery and places he stopped along the way made the effort well worth it.  He stopped often as sitting for extended periods made his right leg and side ache from the removal of the bullets, if only to walk around for a few minutes.  He stopped at a few of the villages and towns along the R254 highway, the last of which for the day was Doochary. Doochary was located on the Gweebara River; and in Gallic translated to “black weir”.  It was hardly a tourist destination, but during the summer months the town saw some trade overflow from Glenveigh Castle located seven kilometers away.  Jim had not come to see castle as he had arrived at the village in the fall. The scenery and the isolation of the village appealed to Jim, and he predicted that most of the populace would give him wide birth.  The Inn where he decided to stay at was the second floor of one of two bars that the town boasted. The Crooked Salmon Inn had better prices and local ‘fare’ than its competition; The Black Gully; was more upscale for the few tourists that did manage to enter their village back from an afternoon spent at Glenveigh Castle. In the off season the Gully was typically closed, but it did not prevent several pairs of eyes glue themselves to Jim upon entering the Crooked Salmon.

 

Jim gave a sheepish wave but a friendly enough smile and inquired of the bartender (Kerill) if there indeed were rooms for rent. Within twenty minutes Jim had a room, been read the rules of the house, and paid more for a local ale than the two customers to his left and right. He had been thoroughly interrogated by the bartender’s wife (Ulicia) and declared single and ‘straight’, he was dually warned off fraternizing with any of the local females as they were interested in husbands not arrogant American’s. Jim promised he was neither going to offend his hosts nor seek a wife. From there he permitted the rumor mill to go to work. By the time, it was a quarter of eleven Jim had already met everyone in town apart from one person.  This person; Harvey Bullock; was either the village’s savior or criminal mastermind depending upon who you talked to.

 

While the extended welcome seemed gracious, Jim knew that there was an underlining current of warning from all the introductions. Jim hadn’t been able to explain how long he would be in town, or why he had even come there with a satisfactory enough answer. The village needed to know what it was up against and Jim was implored to watch his p’s and q’s around the locals. This direction he accepted with aplomb and retired to his room a quarter of midnight. There was singing coming up through the floor beneath his feet but Jim didn’t mind. His body was tired, his injuries ached and he just wanted to fall into the slightly too short single bed in his room. The morning would bring new activities and Jim was looking forward to exploring the surrounding countryside and the village. Until then he listened to the happy sound of laughter and singing enjoying both which allowed him no time to ruminate on his misfortunes.

 

Jim rose with the sun, the curtains on the window of his room were light and did little to combat the morning sunshine. He dressed before walking to the communal bathroom. There were currently no other guests occupying the other two rooms so Jim took advantage of the situation and take his time shaving and washing up. He had gotten completely dressed because other guests or not who knew who would be wandering through the upper floor hallway that might cause embarrassment for them both? Jim put his toiletries back into his room and walked downstairs to the bar. It was empty and the chairs were pushed close to the tables. He moved straight to the door and was about to unlock the deadbolts when he heard the distinct sound of footsteps and a clearing throat.  He looked up in time to see the Kerill shuffle into the room dressed only in pajamas and slippers.

 

“Where you off too so bloody early in the morning boy? Think of peeking through some lass’s windows before they get to the wise?”

 

The man spoke quickly and his accent was heavy. Jim struggled for his partially still sleeping brain to decipher everything the man said. “I usually take a walk before breakfast.  I wasn’t looking to disturb anyone.”

 

The man grunted and moved toward Jim. “Get back with you.” He reached for the door and made quick work of the security measures. “Back before eight and you might buy some o’Mother’s eggs.” He pointed an extended finger at Jim. “If you’re quick now.”

 

Jim merely nodded and thanked the man before exiting out into the cool morning air. Jim shoved his hands into the warmth of his pockets and grimaced a little against the pain of moving. His hip was stiff, his leg complaining against the chill in the air. Ignoring all three Jim began walking up the incline of the main street towards the opposite part of the village. There were very few souls stirring and Jim made note of the layout of the shops and businesses along his path.  He liked that the village was small, quiet. It was so diametrically opposed to what Gotham was like that he felt as if he were almost living in an alternate universe or dream state.  Everything around him was more colorful, foreign in perceived innocence of the point of view.  Gotham mornings weren’t vast in their sensations, yet more tight; compact; wired with tension and ominous in its intent.  Doochary was more of ‘what you see is what you get’ type of place and for Jim’s cynical eyes he could clearly see the simplicity of this village versus downtown Gotham. The thought brought a smile to his face and he rounded his shoulders forward and concentrated upon his gate to lubricate the joints and wake up his muscles.

 

Half an hour later Jim found an unpaved road that looked more like a pathway of some sort and elected to follow it. The wind was really whipping past his ears creating a roaring sound he had never heard before in his life. At first it had unnerved him but as he walked it became background noise.  He stopped later in the walk where there were some boulders just off to one side of the path. He sat upon them and ate a breakfast of an apple and granola bar he had purchased along the drive to Doochary.  He could easily see the lay of the land, where the trees began and fields ended. He looked back down at the town and was quite proud of the progress he had made. He was sweating and breathing hard, but that was all part of the recovery process; he wouldn’t heal strong if he didn’t push himself. He sipped on some bottled water and contemplated going back down into town but the view was so beautiful he wasn’t certain he was prepared to go back to populated areas.  Jim packed his back pack of trash and his water, when a familiar sound in the distance; but growing ever closer; roused him from his rumination.

 

A barking dog? This immediately grabbed his attention and Jim walked further ahead. The dog; some sort of hound mix; raced down the path to him, tail stump wagging and insisting to be petted. Jim bent at the waist because he couldn’t squat easily and allowed the animal to sniff him and decided if he was an ‘okay’ person or not. Once the dog lapped at his hand Jim petted it and spoke to it, surreptitiously taking the collar in one hand in an attempt to read the placard fastened to the nylon. The engraving was worn down and there were no tags.

 

“Well fella, I’m sure you got a name but since I don’t know what it is we’ll keep it casual. How’s that sound, huh?” Jim patted the dog’s side and scratched it behind the ears, both things it responded to favorably and wagged its stump of a tail. The dog was too well fed and friendly to be neglected and Jim watched it sniff around him for a few more minutes before it turned back up the trail. A few meters away the dog looked up from sniffing the lichen on the rocks at Jim; waiting. Jim shouldered his back pack and straightened, walking towards the animal. It moved on to the next area it wanted to sniff waiting for Jim to catch up. The process repeated several times until it turned off onto another pathway; so narrow Jim wondered if it had been created by sheep or goats.  He followed the dog and rounding a corner he saw a stone house, and a small fenced in area and shack looking barn with a Range Rover parked alongside it. In the pen were a few bleating goats and clucking chickens.

 

The goats came right up to the fence seeking handouts from Jim but he had nothing to give them that would be appropriate for farm animals to eat. One nipped at a strap hanging from his back pack and attempted to consume that. “Hey!” Jim scolded it stepping away and tugging the flap out of the goat’s mouth. The dog ran up to the shack size barn barking. A few seconds later it exited the building and crossed the distance back to Jim looking at him expectantly, and then past him. Jim was about to turn to look over his shoulder when abruptly the sound of a cocking shot gun over road the sound of the rushing wind.

 

“You’ve got twenty seconds to tell me what the hell you’re doing on my property before I blow a hole right through you, blondie.”  The man’s voice left no quarter and Jim slowly raised his hands and the instant he moved he felt the tap of the barrel against the back of his skull in warning.  “Did I tell you to move?”

 

Jim froze.  “My name is Jim Gordon. I’m staying at the Crooked Salmon Inn. I arrived here last night. And you are?”

 

The man behind Jim huffed in disbelief. “Arrogant fuck aren’t you blondie? You’re the one that’s trespassing.”

 

“That wasn’t my intention.” Jim continued feeling the ache in his right side begin from the pulling of the position of his arms. His lower back was about to get in on the action and the man behind him with the shot gun would not be reasoned with for now.  “I was following the dog.”

 

“My dog? Why?”

 

“He wanted me to pet him. I did. Then he left. I wanted to know where he would go, and here we are.”

 

“Yeah, here _we_ are.”  The man studied Jim’s stance and the tension abruptly radiating out of him. “You hurt?”

 

“Yes.” Jim answered trying not to sound as if he were gritting his teeth. “This position isn’t the most comfortable. May I put my arms down at my sides?”

 

“Do it.” Jim lowered his arms and did his best not to wince; he failed; but at the very least he didn’t hiss with pain.

 

“How’d you get hurt?”

 

“Long story.”

 

“Then save it. I don’t care.”

 

Jim’s brow furrowed. “Then why did you ask me?”

 

The man pressed the barrel to Jim’s skull once more as a reminder that this was hardly a casual conversation. He was in control and Jim needed to act accordingly.  “Mistake; just like you coming here. I don’t like visitors.”

 

“As I said, I’m not visiting. I just followed the dog. You want me to leave I’ll be happy to oblige. Just let me to turn around and I’ll be on my way.”

 

“And?”

 

The unexpected demand caught Jim completely off guard. “And, I’ll leave. What more is there to say?”

 

“How about, ‘gee mister, I’ll leave and not come back’. Try that on for size blondie.”

 

Jim’s gaze narrowed. “My name is Jim, not blondie.”

 

“The one with the gun and legal rights makes the rules, wouldn’t you say so Jimmy?”

 

“ **Jim**.”

 

“Turn around.” Jim began to comply. “Slowly!” Jim slowed his movements and once he faced the other man he swallowed. The man was older than Jim, bearded with brownish-red hair, deep green eyes and light skin dusted with freckles. He was a few inches taller than Jim and built broad and powerful. He was soft at the middle and had large hands; a workman’s hands and his expression and tone was set to anger by default. For a moment neither one spoke and the two men merely stared at one another. Jim did notice however that the shotgun was lowered chest level but no longer pointed directly at him.

 

“Hi.” It was a dumb thing to say; certainly, to someone that had previously had a gun trained on you, but Jim felt the word slip out, breathier than perhaps was wise, yet the bull of a man before him made his heart beat faster for reasons other than a rush of adrenaline.

 

“Hi yourself.” The man stared at him for a few minutes. “Ulicia didn’t warn you about me? Mrs. O’Connell? The old lady, not the blond fifty something Mrs. O’Connell.”

 

Jim’s brain finally kicked into gear and his brows furrowed. “Are you Harvey Bullock?”

 

The shotgun lowered all the way to point at the ground and the gruff of a man’s spine straightened. “In the flesh. Why are you here? Cause to say ‘following a dog’ sounds like a really bullshit answer.”

 

Jim canted his head a little to one side. “Happens to be true, bullshit sounding or not.”

 

Harvey grunted.  “Kerill didn’t mention a debt?”

 

“What debt?”

 

“Never mind.” Harvey regarded Jim from foot to crown and took a decisive breath.  “Coffee?”

 

“An invitation?” There was a bit of surprise edging Jim’s tone.

 

“Want it or not?”

 

Jim nodded. “I want.”  The look on Harvey’s face was priceless but quickly contorted to bitter anger. He motioned to Jim.

 

“Go on then blondie.” He motioned to him with the gun. “Move.”

 

Jim turned and began to walk, his hip protesting a little and he flinched when his side erupted in sharp pain. He gasped a little but kept walking. He heard Harvey follow and in a few seconds the man was walking by his side, the dog ahead of them already on the stone, mortar and wood stoop.

 

“Get back from the door Einstein.” Harvey pushed at the dog with a leg and it scrambled down the three stairs and allowed him to open the door, Harvey entering first and Jim behind him, the dog following last.

 

“So that’s his name? Einstein?”

 

Harvey placed the shotgun on a side board and moved to the wood burning stove, putting on the coffee.  “Yeah, on account of he’s a fucking _genius_.”

 

Jim smirked, glancing at the dog that was trying to lick somewhere near it’s rectum and the sarcasm dripping from Harvey’s voice. He wondered if he was the only man in town that would name their pet ironically.

 

“Nice.”  Jim took his back pack off but remained standing by the door awaiting Harvey’s direction. Seeing him Harvey rolled his eyes and snatched the back pack also placing it upon the sideboard and motioned to the table.

 

“Sit.”

 

“Thank you.” Jim carefully did as he was asked. He had pushed himself perhaps a little too much that morning but sitting down and being still for a little while would be an immense help.  “I heard quite a bit of conflicting information about you last night at the Inn.”

 

“That right? I’m an enigma wrapped in a conundrum.” Harvey droned his back to Jim as he tended the coffee to finish up so the water could be left to boil. “Contradiction is my status quo.”  He moved back to the table and placed his hands on the top of the chair directly across the table from Jim.  “So, what’s your story Jimmy? Backpacking through Europe to find yourself? Spending mom and daddy’s money to show them? Had a bad relationship and think to yourself some local color would do you wonders? Just get out of rehab and still running from yourself? What’s the deal?”

 

Jim’s lips pulled into a thin line. “It’s _Jim_ ,” he reminded sternly. “And no, none of those apply.” He shifted a little and his frown vanished and his expression had not a glimmer of humor in it. “I’m a police detective, I was injured on the job and instead of going insane at home waiting to be cleared for work, I elected to travel a little. Simple.”

 

“Oh yeah.” Harvey disagreed through sarcasm. “Simple all right.”  He shook his head. “Bet they bought that load of crock real good at the pub last night. No really Jim; just between us girls; why are you **here**?”

 

“Listen,” Jim leaned forward his forearms pressing away from the table edge. “while I appreciate the hospitality; I don’t think you or I know each other well enough yet to accuse one another of being liars. If you don’t mind, kindly stop questioning my motives when I’ve already expressly explained them.”

 

Harvey leaned forward towards Jim, their noses now less than a few millimeters away from touching. “Nobody comes to Doochary by choice unless they’re related to someone here; or are married to someone who is related to someone that lives here. I was born here; raised here; when you can boast that too, _then_ you can prove to me you’re no liar. Until that day, I’m not taking a word you say on face value.”

 

Anger flared behind Jim’s gaze. “Then what was the point of you inviting me inside?”

 

“It’s windy out there,” Harvey began his own voice raising with annoyance. “and I don’t like yelling!”

 

Jim blinked twice at the absurdity of this **shouted** pronouncement and broke into genuine laughter. After several seconds, even his host had to crack a smile.  “Clearly.” Jim shook his head and relaxed by a few degrees and he noticed that Harvey’s knuckles no longer showed white with his grip.  “I have to admit I’m a little surprised that the village grape vine didn’t get the message to you yesterday about a stranger being in town.”

 

Harvey shrugged. “Why do you think I didn’t shoot you on sight?”

 

Jim chuckled. “Thanks for that. I’ve had enough bullets pulled out of me lately.”

 

Harvey’s smile vanished. “That what happened?”

 

Jim nodded. “Back up was slow to arrive, I rushed in; it was bound to be the result one day.”

 

Harvey whistled. “Talk about resigned. Don’t know if I could do that Jim; spend all my days waiting to be shot. You’re either braver than I am or stupider.”

 

“I’m guessing the later.” Jim admitted with honesty that surprised even him. Strangers made good confidants apparently. “And you? Why the isolated curmudgeon shtick?”

 

“Curmudgeon?” he grunted in dispute. “I have my reasons.” Harvey admitted tone stressing that they were indeed his own and not up for discussion.  “And you?”

 

“I have some self-evaluations to make. Getting away from everything I know seemed to be the best way to contemplate them.”

 

Harvey nodded at the wisdom in those words and pushed ofF the chair to walk back to the stove. The coffee was done brewing and he grabbed two mugs off a shelf to the side of the stove. He poured them each a cup and handed Jim his own before sitting down. No sugar was offered so Jim didn’t ask. He watched Harvey blow on his cup before taking a sip, while Jim was just content to simply hold the mug to warm his hands on it.

 

Harvey cleared his throat, his thoughts running back to when he first clapped eyes on Jim Gordon. Those were unsafe thoughts; a subject he needed to put to bed so to speak.  “What kind of self-evaluations?”

 

To Jim the question seemed blunt and out of place so soon in their exchange, however he figured it wasn’t very often Harvey had visitors to his cottage. Harvey preferred it that way. The isolated nature of the surrounding terrain was precisely why he had chosen the land to build on in the first place. Rare was the occasional villager visit and more infrequent was a lost tourist. The blond, young man limping up towards the goat pen was no local. Harvey was miffed. Typically, the locals gave him enough of a negative build up that no one wanted to meet him. So, who was this man and what were his intentions? Harvey noted that Einstein was looking for him, and appeared quite comfortable in the other man’s company. Yet Einstein also ate some of his own excrement on a regular basis, so Harvey didn’t place much faith in his dog’s judgment of character. Hell, Einstein continued to live with **him** and if that didn’t prove lack of mental facilities than what would?

 

Still, Harvey could not focus his mind on something other than his guest. When he had first seen him Harvey had a fleeting thought about how close up, the guy had a fine ass and comp act, strong build. He wondered what the man would smell like and cocked the shotgun to end both his fanciful thoughts and any ill intent by this individual. The guy had brass balls on him, talking to a man with a gun to his head as he had. The excuse the guy gave Harvey for his presence was laughable but Harvey permitted him to put his hands down; all be it begrudgingly. The guy was injured after all. Aside from arrogance the man; Jim; had spirit and intelligence. He also didn’t shoulder any cutesy nick names that a grown ass man should ever carry. A sign of maturity in Harvey’s book.

 

The instant Jim Gordon turned around to face him Harvey lost the ability to breathe. Jim was stunning; had strong features, prominent nose, plush lips, long neck and a visible Adams apple. He had large, deep blue eyes and Harvey wanted to leap into them and never resurface again. His skin was pale, complexion clear, hair dirty blond and screaming for Harvey to run his fingers through it. He was trim, muscular, with a broad waist that tapered into one hell of a grabbable ass. With his movie star, good looks all Harvey wanted to do was stare at him since he wasn’t authorized to touch. But how, he longed to touch; kiss; _consume_ every inch of Jim. He had fumbled for something to say so he chided Jim about Einstein and asked about his long-standing debt at the Crooked Salmon. It gave him an opening and fortunately for him Jim was a little more talkative than Harvey was.

 

“Just re-evaluating my life choices. That type of thing.” Jim rubbed the back of his neck both because it was stiff and because he was uncomfortable under Harvey’s chosen line of questioning.  “Personal matters.” He finalized on the subject.

 

Harvey stared straight at him and took a sip of coffee and placed the mug down, his hands raised before him, elbows upon the table.  “How long are you in town for?”

 

Jim stifled a laugh. “The question on everyone’s mind. Honestly? I don’t know. A day, two? It depends on what is worth staying around for. I don’t have much of an itinerary, which is the point to my travels.”

 

Harvey grunted and nodded once acceptingly. “So, you’re not interested in touristy type places then?”

 

Jim shrugged. “Not really. I mean, it depends on the place. Like here? No, I’m just here to- you know what? I don’t really have a reason for being here past someone in Dublin mentioned Donegal to me.”

 

Harvey could see that such behavior was far out of Jim’s comfort zone just how he spoke about his choices with wonder. Harvey reached for his coffee once more. “People don’t like that type of open ended answer. They want to know if you’re someone to get attached too or not.”

 

“Not, I mean; as you said I don’t have family from Doochary.”

 

“Fair enough.” Harvey studied Jim’s features. “So where _are_ you from?”

 

Jim smirked. Finally; a socially easy question to answer. He liked simple, unobtrusive questions from Harvey; from anyone in town. That meant he didn’t have to give of himself because at the moment he knew he had so little to give.

 

“Gotham City. It’s in- “

 

“I know where it is.” Harvey interrupted. “I’ve traveled a little myself.”

 

Surprise showed behind Jim’s eyes. “To _Gotham_?”

 

“No, to the United States you ass!” Harvey shook his head and muttered to himself in Gallic that Jim predicted translated to something about Jim’s slight upon Harvey’s intelligence and worldliness. “People do travel you know. Look at you; prime example, right?”

 

Jim nodded wishing to keep the peace. “I apologize. It’s just that Gotham is insidious the way it seeps into your bones. I was going to be shocked if anyone went there by choice.”

 

“Born there or have family that was born there?”

 

Jim nodded.

 

Harvey dismissed the misunderstanding with a flippant wave of his left hand. “What’s it like? Really?”

 

Jim swallowed, his gaze darkening a little. “There’s a lot of really good people there; decent; just trying to raise their families, live their lives. But then there’s an undercurrent of corruption and villainy that turns everything it touches into chaos and death. My hope; what I want to do; is to clean up the city of that criminal element. I want it to be a better place, the place I can see the people _want_ it to be; **know** it can be.” Jim looked down into his coffee. “And I want to be a part of building that.”

 

Harvey watched Jim’s hands clench around the mug. “Aren’t you already?” Jim raised his stare to his.  “You said you’re a cop. Isn’t what you do to tidy up after the dregs of humanity come rolling through innocent civilians?”

 

Jim cocked his head to one side considering Harvey for several seconds of silence. “Spoken like a true law enforcement officer.”

 

Harvey’s cheeks reddened. “I wouldn’t go as far as that.”

 

“Someone who’s served then.” That got Harvey’s immediate attention and Jim knew he was right about the older man. His voice softened. “Then you understand what the life can do to you; if it’s all your life is.”

 

Harvey got up so abruptly from the table the chair flew back scrapping on the wood floor and nearly toppled over. Jim tensed, preparing for a fight that didn’t come. All Harvey did was glare at Jim, breathe hard a few times and then turn to the refrigerator. He threw open the door and began digging out ingredients, which he set down hard upon the table.

 

“Are you hungry?” Harvey demanded bitterly. “I’m starving.”

 

As Jim watched Harvey work with the food he began to relax by degrees. “That would be very kind of you. Thanks.”

 

Harvey halted in his actions and looked at Jim, his fists pushing away from the table. The flesh of his hands was white and red. “You want to know what I do for a living now?” Jim parted his lips about to tell his host that there was no need to tell him, but Harvey barreled onwards regardless and Jim shut his mouth. “Nothing! Which is to say, if there’s a problem in the village I fix it. People pay me for that service. It could be anything from a backed-up toilet to marriage counseling; whatever’s needed. There’s not a title for that save ‘Jack of all Trades’, so _that’s_ what I do Jim. Discussion _over_!” Harvey swept one of his hands through the air to signal the shift and went back to the ingredients for the meal he was preparing.

 

Respecting his obvious boundary Jim asked, “Do you need any help?” Harvey glared at him and slammed a fist down upon the table surface. “You can’t punish me for wanting to return your kindness by doing my share.” Jim advised reasonably. He searched Harvey’s reddened face and furious green eyes. “I know my way around a kitchen; if you’ll let me help.”

 

“No, I’m the host, you’re the guest. Just sit there and be one. Alright?”

 

“Understood.” Jim was beginning to wonder just what he had gotten himself into by accepting Harvey’s invitation to come inside his home. After watching Harvey in silence for a few minutes Jim took a sip of his coffee and ventured, “You said you traveled?”

 

“Yeah.” Harvey allowed without annoyance. Jim was trying and so was he; the least he could do was accept the comment for the truce it was.  “Pacific Northwest, including a couple of territories in Canada, Eastern Europe and a few places in Europe everyone goes too.”

 

“Impressive.” It was in comparison to Jim’s limited travels. If not for the Army he might never have left the United States. “What about the Eastern US?”

 

“Where you’re from?” Harvey acknowledged. “No. Wasn’t lying about that. Never been up your way past New York and D.C.”

 

Jim smiled. “That counts.”

 

Harvey shook his head. “Didn’t take to it.”

 

“I can understand that.” Jim allowed watching Harvey chop up a red pepper.  “I joined the Army; that’s what finally got me out of my home town.”

 

“Hell, of a way to see the world Jim.”

 

Jim shrugged. “That’s not why I joined, but honestly? Aside from all the conflict the Middle East is an interesting place to live.”

 

“Desert roasts the Irish. That’s why we avoid it.” He hazarded a glance at Jim. “You’re as fair skinned as one of us, that must have been hell.”

 

“It was hot.” Jim admitted with a slight laugh. He turned his coffee mug in his hands and took another sip thankful for the quality of the beans.  “What do you do up here aside from cater to your guests?”  The look Harvey gave him made Jim want to laugh but he refrained; he didn’t know it was possible to annoy one human being so greatly with basic conversation.

 

“I paint, write poetry. I’m thinking about raising alpaca’s and starting a compost garden if the weather holds.”

 

Jim held up a palm in surrender. “Got it, no questions about your daily routine.”

 

Harvey snorted and moved to the stove to put his skillet on the burner the coffee pot had once occupied. “I take care of the animals, the land, spend time in town working. I read and think a lot.”

 

Jim nodded and smiled at Harvey when he returned to the table to gather some ingredients to place in the skillet. “That sounds fulfilling.” It wasn’t a dig or judgement and Harvey realized this as soon as he met Jim’s gaze. Jim was merely agreeing with Harvey’s life choice.

 

“It gets me through.” Harvey admitted with the most honesty he had shown Jim that day.  He searched Jim’s features. “What wakes you up in the morning?”

 

Jim’s expression fell, the pain behind his gaze was tinged with darkness placed there by his failures. “It used to be work.” Jim exhaled as something profound occurred to him. “Now? I honestly don’t know.”

 

Harvey pointed at him. “You see? That right there? That’s why I don’t typically ask personal questions. I am the _last_ guy to tell you how to live a good life Jim. But I do know that you need something to get you through the day and when you can’t say what it is, then you’re fucked my friend.”

 

Jim’s brow furrowed as he listened and then elected to pull the conversation out of such a serious line with a smirk, “We’re friends now?”

 

Harvey rolled his gaze and the slightest bit of a smile curled the corners of his lips. “Ass.” He deemed moving back to the stove. “I should have shot you when I had the chance.”

 

“The day’s still young.” Jim reminded with a chuckle at the end. “Just to shake things up a little I could shoot you instead.”

 

Harvey grunted. “That? I’d like to see Kid. You might be closer to the gun but I’m faster.”

 

Jim glanced at the side board and then returned his gaze to Harvey’s back. “For now. Don’t forget I’m still healing.”

 

“Doesn’t matter.” Harvey threw back over his shoulder. “You’re cripple now and I can beat you.” The instant the words fell from his lips the shift in the atmosphere was immediate. He shouldn’t have said such things with Jim’s wounds obviously so fresh. He squeezed his eyes shut and silently cursed himself with a hiss. He opened his eyes and wet his lips, straightening and was about to speak when Jim rescued him.

 

“I’ll take a beating over bullets any day. But watch out old man; **when** I’m back to a hundred percent? I’ll take you down at my leisure.”  He spoke the words with mirth, but there was an undercurrent of pain. He didn’t like being vulnerable and the injuries he had sustained had shaken him to the core. He might never be as he was prior to the shooting physically. This was a bitter pill to swallow when so much of his job was physical: strength, speed and flexibility. A part of him distantly recognized that Harvey realized what he had said was cruel, but Jim tried to laugh off the flub rather than argue over it. Even if Harvey didn’t learn to respect him, at the very least Jim would respect Harvey.

 

Harvey turned around to face Jim, his expression open but tinged with regret. “Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try. You might have speed but I’ve got at _least_ three stone on you.”

 

Jim chuckled. “Well, I wasn’t going to say **that** but, you do have a point.” He issued Harvey a slight wink and just like that the tension in the atmosphere between them was defused. “Can I ask what it is that you’re making us for breakfast?”

 

“Omelets.” Harvey shrugged then crossed his arms over his chest. “You look like an egg kind of guy to me.”

 

“As luck would have it, I am an egg type of guy.” This earned Jim a smile from his host.

 

“Doubt that’s the _only_ type of guy you are.”

 

“You wouldn’t be wrong there.”

 

Harvey jutted his chin at him. “You still wanna help?”

 

Jim nodded. “Sure.”

 

“Go outside; behind the house is the chicken coop. Bucket’s on a nail by the door. Go get us some eggs.”

 

“Out of the nests?” Harvey nodded. “Are there any chickens sitting on them, or are they all in the pen with the goats?”

 

“Might be one or two in there.” Watching Jim swallow Harvey had to laugh. “They’re all out in the pen. Watch out you don’t slip in shit. Chickens are messy as fuck.”

 

Jim carefully slid the chair back and stood. “I’ll be certain to keep that in mind.” A little stilted Jim moved towards the door aware of Harvey’s gaze on him. Einstein stopped in his grooming and moved to Jim’s side, tail stump wagging. Jim issued Harvey a ‘here goes nothing’ smile and exited the house. Once he was outside Harvey moved to the kitchen window to watch his progress around the cottage to the chicken coup.

 

As told there was a bucket with some rags made from old shirts in the bottom and Jim easily stooped to get inside the low built coup. The coup was deserted, smelled horrible but wasn’t as filthy as he thought it would be. There were brown eggs in most the nests there and Jim emptied them, carefully stacking them in the bottom of the bucket. Outside Einstein peed on the edge of the coup and then trotted over to the goat pen to sniff a few of his familiar charges. The moment Jim came out of the coup the dog raced to his side and looked up at him with tongue extended panting.

 

“Good boy, Einstein.” Jim pet the dog behind the ears and received a sneeze in gratitude.

 

When Harvey saw, Jim come around the side of the house he pulled back from the window and tended to the ingredients upon the table putting away the unused, and pouring the selected into the skillet. “There he is, farmer Jim.” Harvey teased pleasantly. Jim approached him with the bucket.

 

“Hardly. Where would you like these?”

 

Harvey took the bucket from him. “Never you mind.” He nodded at the table. “You were about to tell me if you left kids or and a wife or husband back home.”

 

“I was?” Jim asked in surprise as he griped the top of the kitchen chair in one hand. Something in Harvey’s body language in accordance with his previous behavior warned Jim against asking the same question in return.

 

“Yeah, we were having a nice little chat.”

 

“I see.” Jim sat down but had the chair adjacent to the table so he could look at Harvey as he cooked. “No children; someday I want them. No wife, no husband, but I had a fiancé prior to the shooting.”

 

“Pushed her away?” Harvey asked with a softness Jim never expected from him in his tone.

 

“Yes, but long before I got injured. There was a fellow physician that she was getting to know. It seemed like the right time to finally admit it was over. I didn’t want her to nurse me through this and she, she didn’t deserve feeling like she had to try.”

 

Harvey turned his head to look at Jim over his shoulder. “Together long?”

 

“Little over a year. The fiancé prior to that? Five years.”

 

Harvey grunted. “Maybe you’re not the marrying kind.” He turned to face Jim. “Ever think of that?”

 

The pronouncement hurt more than it should in Jim’s opinion; perhaps he was rawer than he previously believed. He knew he shouldn’t ask, but heedless of his suffering let alone Harvey’s he blurted, “Are you? The marrying kind?”

 

“Me? No, I’m the stuff of nightmares in a relationship. All my exes are happily existing without me in the picture.”  He crossed his arms over his chest challenging Jim. “And you?”

 

Hurt surrendered to pity and Jim pulled his lips into his mouth and looked at the floor for several seconds before raising his head and saying, “I thought I was. I **want** to be. But work has always come first even though I hate to admit it.”

 

“I get that.” Harvey sympathized turning back to the stove to give Jim a little privacy with his confession.  “Some guys just aren’t talkers. Nothing wrong with that, just women expect it to change and sometimes it can’t.”

 

Jim smiled thankful for the empathy. He rested his elbows upon his knees and leaned forward upon the chair, slotting his fingers together before him. “You’re not a talker either?”

 

Harvey took a deep breath. He didn’t answer as he plated their meal and set it down on the table surface before Jim. Once he retrieved utensils he sat down opposite Jim and waited for the man to turn his chair to rights.  “I was.” Harvey admitted with a gentleness to his tone that brought Jim up short and had him answering in kind.

 

“Then something happened to change that.” It was not a question and Harvey looked at Jim and held his gaze. “You don’t have to- “

 

“Don’t worry. I **won’t**.” Harvey vowed picking up his knife and fork, one in each hand. “Every man and woman on this earth has secrets. Just very few of us truly keep them.”

 

“True.” Jim watched Harvey take a bite of his meal, waiting for him to begin chewing before stating, “It was my fault she left. I wouldn’t open up to her about what I was thinking, or feeling. I didn’t want to talk about it. Not the shooting, not rehabilitation, not my pride. Even before that I was metering out what I shared with her. You can’t build a marriage on that. I loved her; I really did but, something _always_ holds my tongue. Prevents me from committing just that extra step to them.” Jim shook his head. “Obviously, it’s my damage; something I do regardless of how wonderful or perfect for me my fiancé is.” Jim shrugged. “Then the question is do I even want to change that? And if so, do I want to do it now? Or still put the job first? What if I never put anyone before what I do? I don’t want to never know love or never have a family. Is what’s wrong with me something I do intentionally or is it just the way I am?”

 

“And this is what you’re up here pondering.” Harvey paused and made certain he held Jim’s gaze as he spoke. “In my opinion; that you didn’t ask for,” Harvey reminded pointing at Jim with the butter knife. “and probably don’t want, the first question you gotta ask yourself above anything else is, ‘am I able to go _back_ _to_ work’? Because anything else doesn’t matter, and won’t matter until you answer **that**.”

 

Jim stared at Harvey who returned to eating, and as he chewed held eye contact with this guest. “That is profoundly good advice, Harvey.”

 

“That’s doctor Harvey to you, Junior.”

 

Jim smiled. “You really are a jack of all trades.”

 

“Told you.” He motioned to Jim’s plate with his fork. “Now eat up. Think I made that food to be wasted?”

 

“No Mom, you didn’t.” Jim teased picking up his utensils and feeling lighter than he had in a great while. It was true he hadn’t dared ask himself that most pertinent of questions as of yet, but Harvey was right in reminding him that he desperately needed to. The two ate in compatible silence. After breakfast was over, Harvey cleared their plates, gave Einstein any scraps and washed up before turning to Jim.

 

“I have work in town. Need a lift or are you just going to limp back the way you came?”

 

Jim’s lips thinned; from anyone else that comment would have been acidic, yet from Harvey it seemed almost affectionate. Which was strange given how Harvey had expressly explained that he didn’t like people. “No I pushed it pretty hard today. I could use the ride if you don’t mind.”

 

“Wouldn’t have asked if I did.” Harvey pushed away from the counter. “Come on Junior; grab your pack and let’s go.”

 

Jim did as bid and in few minutes the two of them were making their way down the mountainous terrain in the Range Rover. Einstein had been left at home in charge of the goats and chickens.

 

“How long have you lived up here?” Jim asked not to break the silence between them but because he was genuinely curious.

 

“Fifteen years give or take.” He looked at Jim. “You?”

 

“Me?” Jim smiled a genuine smile not something he would flash to the public. “I’m a native. Been here twenty-four hours; give or take.”

 

Harvey chuckled at this and so did Jim, their gazes meeting for a few seconds before Harvey looked back at the road. “I have a plumbing issue to fix, which I can take. What I can’t take is Mrs. O’Leary interrupting her husband and I so she can tell me all about what’s happening in her ‘stories’.” Harvey looked at Jim and immediately a sinking feeling creeped down Jim’s spine.

 

“No, no. I- “

 

“Have something better to do?” Harvey challenged. He had a point and Jim cursed softly as he looked out of the windscreen.

 

“Fine. I’ll run interference, on one condition.” Harvey groaned. “We have dinner tonight.”

 

Harvey’s brow furrowed and he looked at Jim. While it seemed an odd request that someone would **want** to spend more time with him, he wasn’t against the idea. “Deal.” He chuckled lightly. “You’re the one with the raw deal, Junior. You should learn how to negotiate better.”

 

Dubiously Jim looked at Harvey’s profile. “Or maybe I have a thing for middle aged, married ladies.”

 

Harvey laughed at that. “Try geriatric and somehow? I don’t think so. Guy as good looking as you? Has his pick of the litter.”

 

Made uncomfortable by the comment Jim glanced out the passenger window. “You’d think that.” He shook his head and looked back at Harvey who was watching him more closely all the sudden than the actual road. Then again there was no traffic in either direction ether automotive or pedestrian.  “I push them away, remember?”

 

Harvey snorted and shook his head finally looking back at the road. “I think you just get tired of them and want a new girl.”

 

“And the men I’ve pushed away?” The Range Rover jerked to an abrupt halt and Jim braced himself with both hands on the dash. In disbelief, he looked at Harvey. “What the hell was **that** for?”

 

“Look it, Jim,” Harvey began his full attention on his passenger. “I’m going to do you a solid. I’m a live and let live kind of man. What people do in their bedrooms is their business and I’ll be the first guy picking up a sign for equality. But this town? Information like that will get you a lynch mob at the Inn. You understand what I’m saying?”

 

“Yeah, I do.” Jim defended. “And I was telling **you** , not the entire town.” He looked Harvey up suspiciously. “Are you as open minded as you just professed to be?”

 

Harvey growled at Jim. “I’m liberal, so put your righteous indignation back in your pocket and save it for someone that deserves it.” Harvey grunted and began to drive once more. He couldn’t believe what Jim had just admitted to him. _Men_? Jim could be involved with another _man_? Harvey’s heartbeat sped up and he hoped to god that perspiration he felt abruptly forming upon his brow didn’t show. Jim Gordon could really have anyone he wanted and Harvey bet it didn’t take him much to ensnare someone into his orbit. Harvey wondered what he would sacrifice to be that someone, but he shook the thought off with a violent head shake.

 

Jim looked at Harvey from the passenger seat, his gaze resembling that of a kicked puppy. He tore his attention away from the older man and looked back out to the road. Harvey maintained that he supported homosexual relationships, but that didn’t mean he would ever actively engage in one. Given the town’s obvious penchant for bigotry Jim declined asking, assuming that Harvey was as Jim first gaged; straight. Not that Jim was looking for companionship beyond casual conversation. He was self-conscious about his body now due to the scarring the surgeries had left; one of which was still healing from the third surgery he had to have upon his hip to reconstruct it. Besides, his little room at the Crooked Salmon was hardly adequate to have a sexual affair in even if Jim had a taker. He was here to concentrate upon himself and that was the plan he was sticking too.

 

“Dinner was a platonic invitation you know.”

 

“I know.” Harvey grit out despite the fact he wanted to believe that Jim could ever want someone like him. Impossible things rarely happened to Harvey Bullock. “I’m hardly your type.”

 

Jim rolled his gaze to Harvey’s profile. “I don’t have a ‘ **type’**.” Jim took a breath before admitting, “I fall in love with whoever I fall in love with. It doesn’t matter what they look like on the outside.”

 

“Oh, I’m sure it doesn’t.” Harvey was everything but convinced. “All your exes probably look like they stepped out of the same movie you did.”

 

Surprise cleaved Jim’s features. “Don’t say that.”

 

“How can I not? Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror?”

 

“Not anymore!” Jim snapped harsher than he would have preferred to. Apologetically he raised a hand. “Can we just please, stop talking about this?”

 

“Fine by me. And yeah- we’re still on for dinner.”

 

The abrupt shift of emotion from discomfort to relief made Jim’s head spin. Perhaps he had pushed himself too far today but not physically as he once believed. He uttered something affirmative and for the rest of the drive they sat in silence. Once they arrived at the O’Leary’s quick introductions were re-made to Jim of the couple and their four grandchildren and one great grandchild. While Harvey and Mr. O’Leary tackled the plumbing ‘issue’ Jim sat on the couple’s couch and listened as attentively as he could, to the lives and loves of fictional characters on a night time soap opera. While he didn’t find much in the story relatable he was very amused at how every now and again Mrs. O’Leary placed a hand upon his thigh just a little too high and pretended not to notice until Jim tugged her hand away and placed it back in her own lap. Rescue came in the form of Mr. O’Leary and Harvey needing an extra hand with the digging out of the sump pump, he was getting dirty and would ache like hell afterwards, but the physical labor did his spirit well.

 

They worked until noon and when Harvey finished the couple fed them lunch. That accomplished Harvey dropped Jim off at the Inn to shower and relax while he went to another job. This one he swore to Jim was nothing like the last and only due to that assurance did Jim relent in accompanying him.  Back at his room he was thankful he had not continued following Harvey throughout his day. His muscles ached and he was a bit shaky. He held on to the shower wall as the mildly warm water cascaded down over his naked flesh. Images of Harvey flared within his mind then vanished and Jim pushed them aside as he washed. Now was not the time to masturbate; it was a communal bathroom and the last thing he wanted was to be caught or leave any incriminating evidence behind. He told himself that was the case and not that he felt strange touching himself to would be fantasies of his soon to be dinner companion.

 

Jim took a nap and when he awoke the sky was dark outside. Panicked he had missed dinner, he grabbed his wrist watch from the bedside table and turned on the light to check the time. Five-forty-five; he was supposed to meet Harvey downstairs at six.  He was walking down the hallway towards the bathroom to urinate and wash his face of sleep when the door abruptly opened and Harvey emerged, steam pouring out of the door and he was naked to the waist. Jim blinked at him, eyes roaming over the freckled and pink skin of his broad chest, muscles and some chest hair adding to the view. Jim swallowed and attempted a smile as he met Harvey’s gaze.

 

“Hey. I fell asleep.” As if that explained anything. For some reason, he thought Harvey looked nervous about something.

 

“Yeah? Good. I was just,” He motioned to the stairs. “Ulicia washed my shirts for me so I didn’t smell at dinner.”

 

Jim noted that the hair around the nape of Harvey’s neck was wet and, if he wasn’t mistaken the man had a towel hidden behind his back. “No, that’s great. I’m glad. Uh, I guess I’ll see you downstairs?” He was blushing, he could feel it; but being half asleep as he was his reaction times were slower and honest emotions lurking at the surface. He was softer, less guarded and Harvey moved past him and Jim found himself in the bathroom Harvey had just vacated. He enjoyed the thought; sharing with Harvey; he enjoyed the sight of him half naked even more. Smirking to himself he took care of his needs and was fully awake by the time he reached the bar downstairs.

 

Harvey was seated in a back table in a corner and motioned to Jim with a raised hand. He had a dark ale had bought one for Jim. “Thank you. That was kind.” He took a sip and wiped the head from his upper lip with a thumb, ever aware of Harvey’s intent gaze.

 

“You did good work today. Sure, you don’t wanna do something other than police work?” He winked at Jim and Jim felt himself blush at the action. “I’m sure Mrs. O’Leary could find a few things for you to move around the house.” He laughed to himself and Jim realized he was being teased.

 

“She’s handsy.” Harvey nodded. “Which you knew and didn’t warn me about.” Harvey nodded again this time breaking a smile with an accompanying laugh. “Thanks a lot Bullock.”

 

“And so, I bought you a beer.” Harvey motioned to the glass in front of Jim upon the table. “Truce?”

 

Jim couldn’t keep from grinning. “Truce.” He liked how in the dimness of the pub lighting that Harvey’s eyes almost looked black, his features softened and that their conversation was a tad more intimate.  Some locals were filtering in and soon Ulicia and her daughter were floating around the tables taking orders and delivering them. Occasionally his knees would bump against Harvey’s beneath the table but neither of them made much effort to keep it from happening again.  A few ales in and Jim was feeling warm, and an emotion that might have been happiness if he was any good at identifying it as such.

 

He was enjoying himself and other people happened by to insert themselves into the conversation and add stories of their own to entertain someone who hadn’t heard them many times. A group of three such people elected to join the table and Jim slid his chair around to sit close to Harvey and now more than their knees knocked together, it was their thigh that pressed into each other and Harvey had to put an arm around Jim and his chair both frequently to be comfortable. This action left more space for Jim to fit just under his arm at the juncture of his torso and shoulder, and if anyone had bothered to ask him if he was enjoying the physical closeness with the older man he would have chirped ‘yes’ before he would manage to censor himself.

 

For Harvey’s part, having a young, gorgeous man beneath his arm and against him from the evening into the night he had no complaints. He loved watching Jim laugh; genuinely laugh; at the bullshit and truths he was told by the villagers. He enjoyed watching women pinch Jim’s cheeks and make raunchy promises of ways to change his world forever heedless of their husband’s presences right beside them. Everything was in good fun and Harvey found himself fantasizing that Jim was his and this was just a typical evening at the pub. While Jim could contribute to the conversation he mostly kept quiet and listened, asking questions and laughing at the appropriate times. Whenever Harvey spoke however his entire body was wired with anticipation and he would gaze at the older man as if he hung the moon. While someone could have said something; certainly, Harvey could have; no one did and Harvey was content to permit Jim to gaze at him like a lovelorn puppy, deep blue eyes sparkling beneath the light over the table. It didn’t mean anything, drink affected people different ways and obviously, Jim was a happy drunkard. If Jim was happy to hang on his every word; hell, physically hang on **him** ; who was Harvey to stop him? If no one questioned their budding friendship than that was good enough for Harvey and certainly would be safe for Jim.

 

Jim was laughing so hard at a story Kerill was telling from the bar that he slung his arm around Harvey’s back, hand reaching up between the shoulder blades. He gripped Harvey’s shirt and over shirt in his fingers and turned to press his face into Harvey’s shoulder and informed him softly; “I’m going to piss myself if that donkey gets the upper hoof!”

 

Harvey laughed at Jim’s pun and patted him on the shoulder holding him close. It had been ages since he had felt anything so good. He pressed his lips to Jim’s hair line just above his forehead and assured him, “Not to ruin the ending, but I don’t want you to piss yourself over a donkey and a dumbass who doesn’t know the first thing about animals.”

 

“Oh god!” Jim embraced Harvey fully and started to laugh.

 

Harvey fought to keep just one arm around him and not hug him with the other. He looked at the others across the table from him as if to say, ‘he’s adorable, and such a light weight’, yet no one was looking at them at least not at their table. He couldn’t be certain of any of the others. Jim burrowed against Harvey’s shoulder and he tensed announcing, “Okay Gordon. Enough with you.” Several people jeered Jim about not being able to hold his liquor even though he had drunk far more this night than the one ale from the previous night. “Let’s go.”

 

“No.” Jim protested and held on tighter as Harvey tried to stand up. “Stay with me.”

 

“I’ll take him luv,” Mrs. O’Connell; the younger; offered. Harvey waved her away as Jim continued to cling to him.

 

“This one needs bed and bucket.” Harvey teased. He didn’t think five ales would be enough to make the American sick, but then again that was not the point. He needed to get Jim safely tucked into bed and away from any potential mistakes he could make with bedding someone in the pub. There was more jeering as Harvey navigated Jim and himself through the tables, chairs and patrons to the staircase. As they ascended them Harvey couldn’t be certain but he thought he felt Jim’s lips upon his neck. Harvey managed to lean Jim against the room door and work the knob open with Jim’s key.

 

“Come on Harv, come in for a wee drink.” Jim teased in a bastardized version of an Irish accent.

 

“You’ve had enough Junior.” Harvey stated tempted to kiss those plush lips that Jim was pouting with. His blue eyes were pleading as well as his hand that fisted itself in Harvey’s shirt; the other arm was still locked securely around Harvey’s shoulders.  “In we go.” He yanked Jim too him when he opened the door so the younger man would not fall through it.

 

Jim laughed looking at the bed. “It’s so short. You know what?” Jim looked at Harvey this time both arms around his neck as if they were about to kiss. Harvey had never been so thankful that he had kicked the room door closed behind them. “Both my fiancé’s? Taller than me. Swear. And I didn’t mind at all.”

 

“I’m sure you didn’t.” Harvey pronounced backing Jim in the direction of the bed until his knees hit it. “In you go Junior. Lay down.”

 

Jim placed one arm up under his head, the other he reached for Harvey with while the older male was wrestling off his shoes and socks. “You’re taking care of me again. You’re good at that you know?”

 

“I know.” Informed Harvey putting Jim’s legs in bed. He moved to reach for the belt buckle and fly of his jeans. Jim giggled happily and now reached out to him with both hands.

 

“God to feel your mouth on me.” Horrified Harvey looked up at Jim. “If only you were into guys I’d do whatever you wanted to do. And love every minute of it.” Jim sighed wistfully and drew his hands away.

 

Harvey stripped off Jim’s jeans and left him in his shirt and boxer briefs. He resisted the urge to stroke his fingers down the inside of Jim’s thighs and covered him up with the bedclothes as quickly as he could. “There you go Junior. Now you’re gonna go to sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow morning alright?”

 

“Promise?” Asked Jim plaintively. “I liked today. It was the best I’ve spent since leaving home.”

 

“I promise.” Issued Harvey knowing that he would move heaven and earth to keep his vow. He stroked Jim’s hair back from his forehead following the style of his hair. “Now go to sleep.”

 

“Good night, Harvey. And thanks. For today. It was great.”

 

“So, you keep telling me.” On impulse Harvey leaned down and kissed Jim on the forehead. “Now go to sleep.” He repeated turning off the bedside lamp Jim had left on for himself and made his way to the door. “See you in a few hours Junior.”  Jim waved at him, blew him a kiss and waved again before Harvey managed to close the door.  Outside in the hallway Harvey pressed his forehead to the door. What in the hell was he doing? Spending time alone with a flirty Jim Gordon was dangerous; it would be far too easy for him to break his rule of getting intimate with strangers he didn’t pay for sexual favors. No; in the morning, he would have to tell Jim that there could be no more flirting. He would have to rely on the fact that that Jim believed him to be straight as leverage. He felt sick to his stomach not correcting the younger male and being honest, but if Jim knew there would be more incidents like this and Harvey Bullock wasn’t a strong man when it came to resisting his sexual impulses. For now, he would have to be vigilant and help Jim understand that drunk or sober there could be nothing physical between them.

 

Harvey’s body ached for Jim as he walked down the staircase to the pub below.


	2. Chapter Two: Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim comes out of his shell a little and Harvey does the same in kind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own.
> 
> All kudos, comments, criticisms, suggestions welcome!
> 
> To my wife who's my sounding board and cared enough to ask me "So what's happening now in your story?". That meant the world Baby!

**Chapter Two: Confessions**

Light.  Jim grunted and raised a hand to shield his face from the rays of sun shining through the curtains that did little to filter its potency. Jim rolled over onto his side and realized his bladder was screaming at him and his head was throbbing, muscles stiff from having not moved most of the night he groped for the support of the bedside table to aid him in sitting up.  His equilibrium rolled but his stomach didn’t and for that he was profoundly grateful. The grunt he gave lengthened to a groan as he rubbed his head and realized he was not wearing pants. Blinking down at his lap Jim struggled to remember how he had gotten into bed in the first place and had little success. He wanted to ponder the events of the previous night more, however the sting of his bladder reminded him he needed to get to the bathroom and quickly. Easier thought than done.

 

Jim nearly collapsed back down to sit when his entire pelvis and lower back seized, freezing him in a squatted position. He gasped sharply, squinted his eyes shut and forced himself to remember to breathe through the pain no matter how agonizing and unexpected it was. Jim grabbed on to the bedside table with one hand and clenched a fist full of bedclothes in the other. He mentally prepared himself to stand on the count of three and when he reached one he was standing. All be it locked from the waist down. Jim extended an arm to rest against the wall to help him remain standing and carefully moved along it to the dresser a few meters away. The four-step journey took him ten minutes and had his brow dripping perspiration by the time he clutched the deep, dark wood. He grunted once more and opened a drawer for a clean pair of jeans, shirt and underclothing. He rested there another two minutes before he turned and gazed wistfully at the door. Why did it have to be so far away? And the walk that awaited in the hallway would be worse. Jim swallowed and looked at the jeans in his hands. How in the hell was he going to dressed and make it to the bathroom before his bladder gave way?

 

The back pack on the floor beside the dresser captured Jim’s attention. If he could get the bottle of water he could drink that and use the bottle. While the proposition wasn’t pleasant nor ideal, it was a solution he was going to be forced to live with. He was too stiff and couldn’t move fast enough to make it to the bathroom. Once his bladder was relieved he could take as long as was necessary. With a deep, resigned sigh Jim bore his teeth and bent at the waist, reaching for the back pack.  Urinate into a bottle was something he hadn’t done since survival training in boot camp, at least this time he wouldn’t have to drink it when he was finished collecting it.  Half an hour later Jim was dressed in clean jeans, the underwear and shirt from the previous day, and barefoot as he entered the hall way. He clutched the bottle of shame filled urine to his side praying neither one of the Inn owners would choose to ascend the staircase at that point to come check on him.

 

Jim had almost made it to the bathroom when he heard footfalls upon the stairs. He grimaced and cursed silently to himself and held the bottle against his stomach, covering it a with the front hem of his shirt. As long as he didn’t have to turn around he could salvage a shred of dignity at least. Never mind he had one hand on the wall and was using the surface to help support his agonizing walk down the hall.

 

“Jim!”

 

“Oh, thank god.” Jim praised head bowing and eyes closing. “Harvey.” It was Harvey. Jim smiled and leaned back against the wall pivoting slightly to look at his friend. “Good morning.”

 

“Mid-morning but I’ll accept it.” He reached Jim and clapped a large, exceedingly warm hand upon his shoulder. Harvey noted the sweat upon Jim’s face, the way he was trembling slightly, his pale pallor, the bottle half hidden beneath his shirt and the state of his dress.  “What’s in the bottle Junior?”

 

Jim’s face fell. “No, Harvey don’t- “

 

Harvey ignored Jim’s plaintive whine and took the bottle out of his hand even though Jim didn’t give it up easily, tugging back hard. Harvey’s brow furrowed as he held the bottle up and assessed it. His eyes canted to Jim’s. “This what I think this is? Or are you just taking the piss?” The joke worked on several levels and Harvey was quite pleased with himself. Jim would take a little more convincing because he was in immense physical pain. Harvey was sympathetic to that fact but he surmised that Jim was not one to accept help easily; everyone knew Harvey didn’t typically either.

 

In spite of his situation, despite everything; Jim had to smile at the attempt at humor predicting it was to deflect from his current open display of struggle. He reached for the bottle. “Yes, it is.”

 

Harvey sneered at the offending bottle and released it back to Jim.  “What? Outside against a wall not good enough for the likes of you pretty boy?”

 

Jim chuckled. “Thanks, I’ll remember to try that next time. Expand my horizons a bit.” He looked at Harvey gratitude in his gaze but it was quickly eclipsed by shame.  “I won’t be of much help to you today. Do you mind if I still tag along?”

 

Smooth as if he had known Jim all his life, Harvey slid an arm around Jim pulling Jim’s arm over his shoulders. He let Jim lean against him before the younger male even knew what happened because Harvey was talking as he moved, keeping eye contact, smiling and being exceedingly charming.  “I don’t. Besides, today is your lucky day Jimmy. I have naught planned.” He lifted his eyebrows at Jim. “How’s that for local vernacular?”

 

Jim couldn’t help but laugh, in pain but feeling lighter somehow now that Harvey was aiding him.  “I’m not here for ‘authentic’ anything.” Jim reminded before his brow furrowed. “And please don’t call me Jimmy.”

 

“Always hated it?”

 

Jim nodded as they reached the bathroom door. “I was always Jim or James.”

 

“Figures.”

 

“And your accent by the way? Not so thick I have trouble understanding you.”

 

“Was my time in Canada that broke it. Yours isn’t too bad either.” He winked at Jim. “So, you need me to do anything else? Or wait for you in the hall?”

 

“Well,” Jim leaned with his back against the threshold and felt the difference with Harvey no longer supporting him. He waggled the bottle at Harvey. “I don’t have to do anything that requires the door being closed. Maybe you could just hover here. Keep me company?”

 

“I can hover.” Harvey crossed his arms over his chest and watched Jim uncap the bottle and poor the contents into the toilet, flush then throw the bottle away. “You can still recycle that.” Harvey teased deadpan and Jim caught himself nearly giggling at that thought like he was five years old instead of thirty-three.  “We all have to do our part for the environment.”

 

“Says the man that advised me to piss on a wall.”

 

“I never said our parts were constructive.” Harvey jutted his chin at Jim as the man washed his hands and then face. “I know where we can have breakfast. Assuming you’re up to food.”

 

“I’m up for it.” Jim cursed softly.

 

“What?”

 

Jim looked at Harvey, face dripping with water. “I forgot my shaving kit and towel back in the room.”

 

“I’m going.” He held his hand out. “Key?”

 

“It’s open.”

 

“All right keep your panties on.”  Harvey turned away and walked back down the hall to Jim’s room. Once inside the door he noticed signs that Jim had had a difficult morning. He scooped up the dirty clothes from the previous night off the floor and lay them upon the end of the bed. He was about to close the drawer when he saw how neatly folded Jim’s clothing was. Shirts to the left, jeans to the right, underclothes in the middle. Harvey licked his lips and picked up one of the folded shirts, the cotton soft and he brought the garment to his nose, eyes closing he inhaled it’s scent deeply.

 

_Jim._

 

Good god Harvey was lost.  “I’m sorry Alma.” The words fallen from his lips Harvey placed the shirt against them before slowly lowering it and opening his eyes. He put it away in the drawer, kiss left behind just beneath its collar. Harvey yanked the towel off the chair back and toiletry kit off the top of the dresser and hurried back into the hallway, his nostrils full of Jim’s scent.

 

“Thank you.” Jim praised when he saw Harvey once more and was handed the towel. He dried his face and put the towel over his left shoulder. Reaching for the shaving kit he rested it on the edge of the sink.  “I could have made it, but; this is so much better. Thank you.”

 

“It’s fine Junior. I know you’re a lazy American after all.” Jim grinned and Harvey went back to crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the threshold. He watched Jim unzip the shaving kit and take out his tooth brush and put paste on the bristles. “You actually gonna shave today?”

 

Jim shook his head. “I thought I’d go scruffy. That all right?”

 

“Sexy as hell to the women but, hey; don’t not do it on my account.” Harvey shrugged and Jim looked from the kit to Harvey’s gaze.

 

“It’s just; um,” Jim’s gaze dropped for a breath then locked with Harvey’s.  “I’m a little shaky this morning. And I use a straight razor.”

 

“Do you now?” Harvey asked intrigued by that tidbit of information. Jim nodded and began to brush his teeth. “You know,” Harvey cleared his throat. “I could always, help you out there. My granddad used to use them and he’s the one that taught _me_ to shave so, I’m familiar.”

 

Jim’s gaze widened just a little in surprise and he took a few seconds to think before shook his head. “It’s fine. I can skip a day. But thank you for the offer. I may have to take you up on it some other morning.”

 

Perhaps Jim was staying longer than just 48 hours. Harvey liked the sound of that and nodded, lowering his arms and pressing his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

 

“You do that.” He watched Jim start to brush his teeth and chatted lightly about things of utterly no consequence at him until he was finished. Harvey tucked the shaving kit under one arm and Jim beneath the other, the towel still on Jim’s shoulder as they made their way back to the room.  Gently he eased Jim to sit upon the bed. “Need a shirt? Socks?” He took the towel from Jim and hung it back over the chair to dry and put the shaving kit back upon the dresser.

 

“Please?” Jim watched Harvey retrieve the clothing items from his drawer as if he had instinctively known where everything was. Jim saw the discarded clothing at the end of the bed and touched it with a hand. Of course; Harvey had cleaned up after him. That solved that mystery then. He smiled up at the older man. “I really appreciate everything you’re doing for me right now. I pushed to hard yesterday; I knew better and I did it to myself anyway.”

 

“We’ve all been there.” Harvey soothed lowering to a crouch. He unrolled Jim’s socks and coiled one up between his thumbs and held it near the floor where Jim’s toes were resting in indication. “Hell, can’t tell you how many mornings I’ve still been blind drunk on and need a bit of nursing. It happens.”

 

Jim frowned as he placed a hand upon Harvey’s shoulder and raised his foot to stuff it in the proffered sock. He waited while Harvey pulled it up his foot to the ankle and tugged it tight.  “Still, I only have myself to blame.”

 

“If it’s any consolation,” Harvey paused preparing the second sock then met Jim’s gaze. “I blame you too.” He gave him a warm smile and repeated the process with the second foot.

 

“You’re an expert at this. Had practice, have you?”

 

Harvey did not hold Jim’s gaze but looked away instead. He quickly rose and turned away. “Well, you know. There’s tons of children around here. You learn a thing or two when you’re helping to raise them.”

 

“Are you admitting that it literally ‘takes a villiage’ in this instance?”

 

“Something like that.” Harvey managed to smile as his hands rested upon his hips. Now he turned to Jim and looked at him. “Need help with the shirt too?”

 

“No, thanks.” Jim gritted out in partial self-condemnation. “A shirt I think I can handle.” He pulled off the t-shirt from the previous night and reached for the shirt Harvey had brought over for him and set upon the bed. Harvey had to look away from Jim’s semi undress. His heart beat fast and out of the corner of his eye he watched Jim tug on the t-shirt he had kissed moments prior. It had been a stupid, juvenile thing to do and now he felt like a complete fool. “See?” Jim asked once he was covered. “All on my own.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get too damn smug over it.” Harvey moved to offer aid in putting on Jim’s hiking boots. Jim thanked him and they only slightly altered the process they had used for the socks. “Think you’re going hiking up to my house again today?”

 

Jim laughed. “No. I don’t think so. You want me there? You’re gonna have to drive.”

 

_‘You want me’_. Yes, Harvey did and that was the problem. He said nothing though and took his time lacing up Jim’s boot.  This gave Jim time to allow his eyes to wander over Harvey’s down cast features, his hair and how it brushed his shoulders, the way his hands moved so steady and certain. He had nice fingers and Jim wondered idly what they would feel like inside of him.  While he was scrutinizing, Harvey’s beard his breath caught silently in the back of his throat. Upon the side of Harvey’s neck, just at the rise of his collar was a darkened, bruised patch of skin. Jim experienced a quick memory flash of being helped up the stairs and desiring to push his face up against Harvey’s neck. The older man smelled so good, felt even better and Jim had not been able to resist taking the opportunity. His mouth had pressed to the flesh and he had kissed, sucked a little and murmured contented noises as he rubbed his face against Harvey’s throat and jaw line.  A sick, embarrassed chill ran up his spine and dropped his stomach. He had done that; made the mark upon Harvey’s body and the man hadn’t said anything about it. Neither teased him nor reprimanded him; merely acted as if everything between them was as it had been the prior day.

 

“Harvey?”

 

“Yeah Jim?”

 

Jim wet his lips thankful that Harvey was looking down at his work of putting on Jim’s other boot and not looking him in the eye. “There’s quite a bit about last night that I don’t remember clearly.”

 

Harvey laughed and raised his head to look at Jim. “Well I’m not the one to ask about that Junior. You were quite the popular lad last night. Everyone was lining up to tell you all their outdated, over told, sorry ass, stories.” He pointed at Jim. “And you’re a happy drunk. Cuddly. It was interesting trying to get you up the stairs to your room so you could sleep it off with happy dreams.”

 

“Thank you for that.” Jim praised still looking Harvey in the eye and leaving his hand upon the other man’s shoulder. “But,” He moved his hand off Harvey and used an extended finger to gently move the collar away from Harvey’s marked skin. “I did this right?”

 

Harvey had a raunchy lie prepared; he had been refining it all morning in case Jim brought up the hickey. Yet now that the moment to use it he didn’t have the heart too. He sighed softly and rested one wrist upon his knee. “Yes. You did. But you were five ales in, and drunk enough to think I was I don’t know who all. Stop blushing; I didn’t take it personal.” He had wanted to; longed too; but in the end, it was better for them both if it wasn’t.

 

Jim’s features were crimson from embarrassment. “I’m sorry Harvey, I- “Jim swallowed. “If you weren’t offended then I won’t worry, but if you were,”

 

“I wasn’t.” Harvey finalized touching a hand to the base of Jim’s rib cage. “Now stop apologizing for nothing before I decide to shoot you next time you wander up my hill.”

 

Jim nodded, his eyes full of gratitude and affection. Harvey slowly rose to his feet and carefully helped Jim to stand.  “Now all I need is a belt.” Jim informed motioning to the two hangers on the curtain rod. On one was a pair of slacks, button-down shirt, tie and suit blazer. On the second was another button-down shirt and two belts. Harvey moved quickly and chose the more casual of the two and brought it back to Jim. “Thanks.” He watched the younger male thread the belt through the loops of his jeans and then tuck in the tail of his t-shirt. He did make a pretty picture; unshaven, looking a little rough around the edges and dressed more crisply. Harvey wondered what he would look like in the suit and stopped that thought cold and remained silent as Jim smiled at him. “Do I look presentable?”

 

Harvey rolled his gaze. “My goats will be duly impressed. Now come on, let’s move before it’s lunch instead of breakfast.”

 

Jim had to laugh. “You’re goats huh? Does this mean you’re feeding me breakfast again?”

 

Harvey shook his head. “We’re eating in town. Folk need to know that you didn’t die from alcohol poisoning overnight.” He moved to Jim’s side. “Now let’s get you downstairs.”

 

It took them a little while but by the time they were downstairs and outside of the pub Jim could move a little independently from Harvey. Still the older man was going to spend the remainder of the day hovering at Jim’s side just in case he needed to jump to the rescue and support him.  The care that he was taking touched Jim profoundly and he was rather enjoying it. If anything, it was an excuse to be closer to Harvey one more time and drink him in scent and sensation. Jim did his best to push away any sexual thoughts, and when Harvey talked it was easy to shut off that portion of his brain and hang on the man’s every word just as he had the night prior. By the time they were finished with breakfast the place was being closed to be cleaned and prepped for lunch. Harvey and Jim took their que, Jim paid the bill and they left.

 

“Did you have anything in particular planned for us today? Aside from breakfast that is?” Jim asked as they walked back in the direction of the Crooked Salmon. Jim wasn’t prepared to let Harvey out of his site yet if that was what the older man had intended.

 

Harvey took a breath and looked at Jim, their shoulders brushing together for a few steps before Harvey repositioned himself a little further away. “Thought I’d lure you up to my place under false pretenses and bury your body under the barn.”

 

“Wow, and here I thought you were warming to me.”

 

“Na. S’all in your head.” Harvey shrugged. “Didn’t have any plans. Is there something you wanted to do?”

 

“No I just,” Jim cleared his throat and force himself to push through his embarrassment. He smiled and told Harvey the truth. “I don’t want you to leave yet and go home. I know we weren’t introduced under the best of circumstances yesterday but, I thought we got along fairly well yesterday.”

 

“After you were five ales in.”

 

“No. **Before** that.” Jim insisted with a laugh. “You’re not making this easy on me, are you?”

 

“Why should I?” Harvey demanded the barest of smiles curving his lips. “It’s not like I have many friends.”

 

“No, I can see why.” Jim teased. Then more seriously asked, “Does that mean we’re becoming friends?”

 

“Is putting a title to it important?”

 

Jim shook his head. “I’m just genuinely enjoying your company.” Jim replied honestly. “I don’t have very many friends either, and for now; in this moment; I’d like to count you among them.”

 

Harvey frowned. “One of the friends you _don’t_ have?”

 

“I’m beginning to regret telling you that I enjoyed your company.”

 

“You should.” They had reached the Inn and still where they would go next was undecided. Harvey exhaled into a grunt and met Jim’s gaze. “What if I took you home with me?”

 

“If it’s not to kill me? I accept.”

 

“Glad that’s sorted.” Harvey allowed as if to himself but it was grumbled for Jim’s benefit. “Come on Junior.” Harvey moved towards his parked Range Rover. “One of the goats has probably usurped Einstein and is my new dog now.”  Jim laughed at the absurdity of this and he realized his face was a little sore from all the smiling and laughing he had done the night before as well. Harvey placed him in a good mood and truly was enjoying his time with the man. Jim hurried the best he was able.

 

The drive to Harvey’s was uncomfortable in places for Jim as the road was not paved once they reached the bottom of the mountain; or ‘hill’; where Harvey lived. Harvey drove as carefully as he could but by the time they had arrived Jim was thankful the ride had ended. They were greeted by Einstein and some bleating goats, which Harvey ignored. Jim pet Einstein and scratched him behind the ears. The dog then glued itself to Jim’s right calf and followed him into the house in hopes of receiving additional attention. This time Harvey by passed the kitchen and took Jim to a room off the main living space. It was small but contained a recliner, book shelves weighted with numerous books, a love seat, reading light and a nest of blankets in one corner for Einstein to lay upon.

 

Harvey motioned to the recliner and taking the entire room in Jim knew without a doubt that this was the chair Harvey sat in when he read or ‘thought’ as he had informed him the previous day. Jim shook his head and pointed to the two-seat couch. “That’ll be fine- “

 

“Don’t argue with me Jim. You can put your feet up, it’s the better choice. So, don’t be a putz and sit the hell down.”

 

With an invitation like that Jim could hardly refuse. Wordlessly he sat down and Harvey nodded once curtly and moved to sit on the love seat. The instant he chose the end closest to Jim, Einstein jumped up next to Harvey and lay his head upon his lap. Harvey glared down at the dog, who gazed up with soulful eyes and wagged his tail stump. Jim couldn’t help but laugh softly.  “Can I help you?” Harvey demanded of the dog. Einstein merely licked Harvey’s forearm. Harvey pet the dog for a moment making certain to scratch him behind the ears then snapped his fingers and ordered the dog to his own bed. Instantly Einstein obeyed and picked up his chew bone happy to work on it as Harvey turned to Jim. He placed his left ankle upon his right knee and left elbow on the arm of the couch.

 

“For a minute there, I thought he really had your number.” Jim stated gently. He was low to admit it, but Harvey had been right about the chair. Just tipping it back enough to bring the foot rest up slightly took so much pressure off his hips. The worn leather was comfortable and smelled of Harvey.

 

“I pulled it out at the end.” Harvey admitted hiding a smirk at Jim behind three curled fingers as his chin rest in the L of his thumb and pointer fingers. “Your color is coming back.” Harvey knew it was due to that Jim was not shaking with pain any longer; the chair was helping.  “All right Junior, give me the details. I’m ready.”

 

Confusion showed openly in Jim’s features. “What details?”

 

Harvey motioned to Jim’s right side.  “The hail of bullets, how you rose from the ashes. That story.”

 

“I thought you said you weren’t interested.”

 

“That was yesterday when I had things to do. Today I have time for a ‘long’ story.”  His green eyes glinted with curiosity, expressing his renewed interest in the subject matter.

 

Jim wet his lips. “I rushed into a situation without sufficient back up, as I told you. I was spotted and two of the suspects shot me.”

 

“How many times?”

 

“Seven. Four hit me, two missed altogether and one merely grazed me.”

 

Harvey’s eyes widened in surprise. He uttered something in Gallic and shook his head. “And?”

 

“And what?”

 

“How long were you in the hospital?”

 

Jim shifted in the chair looking quite uncomfortable. “Can we please talk about something else?”

 

“Yeah, okay. Sure, thing Junior.” Harvey lowered his hand away from his face. He didn’t like the fact that Jim appeared anxious if not slightly upset. It had been due to his questioning and Harvey knew he should have been more careful. It wasn’t like he hadn’t realized before this moment that the shooting was a touchy and difficult subject for Jim.  He needed to change tactics and go for something real, yet amusing and settled for, “Read any good books lately?”

 

The unexpectedness of the question made Jim laugh and cleared the anxiety and pain from his gaze. “I’ve been a little too busy pushing myself out of my comfort zones to stop and read something lately.”

 

“That’s admirable. But don’t forget, the mind is a muscle too.” Harvey pointed to his temple. “Don’t let it atrophied.” He nodded once and gave Jim a cheeky wink. Harvey was addicted to Jim’s smile and his laugh. When he truly let go and stopped thinking, or was surprised by one of Harvey’s jokes, Jim’s smile lit up the entire room. It made Harvey feel that maybe; just maybe; Jim was smiling just for him and not just _because_ of him.

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Jim looked around the room. “Have any recommendations? See I’m currently stuck in a conversation I could do to get out of. The guy is really brash and nosey. Maybe if I start reading he’ll shut up for a while.”

 

Harvey placed a palm against his chest. “Ouch. Slings and arrows Jimmy. They too win the day.”

 

Jim actually giggled and reddened a little at the tips of his ears and across his cheeks. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

“Obscure reference.” Harvey pointed to the bookcase on Jim’s right. “The green one closest to you; gold spine; second shelf.”

 

Jim turned a little and reached for the book Harvey directed him to. It was within easy reach and Jim wondered if all of Harvey’s favorites were within an arm’s length away from the chair. The thought made him smile and he could picture Harvey late in the evening, seated in the chair, Einstein asleep on the love seat. Harvey had reading glasses on and was sitting quietly with a favored tome. Jim had a quick flash of himself standing in the threshold of the room with a steaming mug of tea to give Harvey while he read. Jim flushed a little harder but looked at the title of the book on the front cover. The hard-back book was rough against his fingers, cover textured and page edges slightly yellowed. Jim held up the book to Harvey.

 

“I can’t read Gallic.”

 

“The inside’s in English. Every time someone says anything in Gallic around you, you get a look on your face like you’re constipated.” Jim’s lips parted but Harvey continued immediately to halt his protest. “I know you’re just trying to figure out context or a few words. Don’t worry Junior, I know you’ve got brains in between those pink ears of yours, but speaking my language isn’t one of your many skills.”

 

Jim rested the book on his lap. “So, what’s it about?”

 

“Irish fairy tales. Or, 300 pages give or take.” Harvey ginned at Jim watching him subconsciously touch one of his own ears tentatively as if that would suppress his blush.

 

Jim looked up from the book to Harvey’s gaze. “Is it one of your favorites?”

 

“Would that matter?” Jim nodded and punctuated it with a shrug not committing to deeply in case his opinion would upset his host. “Then fine; yeah. It is. It was a gift from m- it was a gift.” Harvey left it at that and Jim leaned the volume against his chest.

 

“Thank you. I’ll start it before I go to sleep.”

 

“I don’t know if you want to do that, Junior. Some of those tales? Like the original Grim Brothers; not for the weak of constitution or faint of heart.”

 

“I’ll bear that in mind.”

 

“See that you do. The department probably has put you through enough therapy at this point.” Jim tensed and Harvey regretted allowing his mouth to work independently of his brain.

 

Jim took a silent but visible breath.  “Not as much as there’s going to be in order to get me cleared for duty.”

 

Harvey looked away for a few seconds before he turned back to hold Jim’s gaze. “And they’ll release you. Yesterday you said you’d be back to a hundred percent and I believe that’s exactly where you’ll be.” Harvey’s faith was rewarded with an affectionate upward curve of the corners of Jim’s mouth.

 

“You believe that.” He stated not asked; there was no doubt that Harvey was telling Jim the truth as he perceived it. Harvey nodded and informed Jim that he did.  “Well there’s two of us now. It’s good not to be so alone on the issue.”

 

“The doctors don’t know what you’re capable of. Now that I know you had seven bullets fired at you, hit by five; lived; and survived yesterday, I have a new-found respect for you Junior. Fuck yeah, you’re going to be reinstated once you heal.”

 

“It’s not the doctor’s opinions that I’m concerned about.”

 

“Colleagues?” Jim nodded. “They not know you too well, or like you at all?”

 

His smile faded as truth deepened the hues of his eyes. “Both actually. I, I didn’t make it easy for my coworkers to get to know me. I’m a bit of department hard ass and they, they have more liberal points of view of what constitutes up holding the law.” Jim shrugged. “I made more enemies than friends.”

 

“Huh.” Harvey swallowed. “You weren’t joking about not having many friends to confide in were you.” Not a question and Jim nodded a couple of times and Harvey leaned forward, his elbows upon his knees before he reached out with his left hand and placed it upon one of Jim’s knees. “Fuck ‘em. Find one guy; just one; to invest in and make sure he’s a loyal bastard. That way he’ll always have your back. One is all you need, Jim. Trust me.” Harvey gave Jim’s knee a little squeeze, then pat it and withdrew his hand.

 

“Who’s you’re _one_?”

 

Harvey’s expression paled a little and he looked down at the floor for several silent seconds before clearing his throat and answering.

 

“Dead.”

 

Jim felt a burst of empathy at learning the news. The death must have been somewhat recent if Harvey’s expression was anything to go off of.

 

“I’m sorry, Harvey.”

 

Harvey shook his head and held up a hand and Jim fell silent. Slowly Harvey raised his head and met Jim’s gaze, tears misting his eyes.  “It was a long time ago.”

 

“He meant a lot to you, obviously.”

 

“She.” Corrected Harvey before wiping a hand down his face angry with himself for showing so much emotion so freely.

 

“Okay.” Jim soothed. He pushed the foot stool down and held the book on one thigh as he leaned forward and reached for Harvey’s forearm with his free hand. At the skin on skin contact Harvey looked up at him. “I am sorry. You don’t have to tell me anything. I understand.”

 

Harvey set his hand on top of Jim’s. “No, you don’t.” Harvey carefully removed Jim’s hand from his arm and pushed it back at him. He rose to stand and looked down at his guest. “I have to feed the goats. Wait here and I’ll be right back.”

 

“Sure.” Jim promised watching Harvey abruptly leave the room. Einstein immediately rose to his feet to follow leaving Jim perfectly alone. Jim’s gaze settled on the book and he rubbed the front cover with a flattened hand. Jim flinched at the slamming of the cottage door and took the book in his hands, pausing for a second or two to bring the fingertips of his left hand across his forehead. He felt terrible for having unintentionally opened a wound for Harvey. It seemed that in all their interactions they were hell bent on tearing into one another’s most tender areas, all be it blindly and innocently enough. Jim opened the book and fanned through the pages, a section catching towards the end of the book. Jim opened the book to that section and found a photograph pressed tightly into the binding of the book. He tugged it gently out and read the words:

 

_‘For my Love, with all my love, Alma’_

 

Jim turned the photograph around and stopped breathing when he saw the sonogram image of a baby, with ‘it’s a girl’ in the bottom right hand corner. Jim squeezed his eyes shut and the pieces began falling into place. A book about fairy tales; something Harvey could use with his daughter, and Alma’s way of telling him she was pregnant. Something terrible had happened that left Alma dead and the child…as well? No wonder Harvey lived alone, isolated and didn’t welcome visitors at his home; he was grieving. Jim felt like he had been punched in the gut and put the picture back where he had found it and closed the book. He rose from the chair and lay the book upon the seat. It took a few steps but his joints were lubricated and he moved as fluidly as he did now days. Passing through the living room he headed towards the cottage door. Limping outside Jim made it down the few steps and headed straight toward the goat pen where Harvey was putting pellets of some sort in the small feeding trough, goats crowding him and not even caring that the gate was open as they were so hyper focused upon being fed. Jim stopped just short of the pen and Harvey raised his gaze, expression falling to annoyance.

 

Harvey tossed the plastic tub he had used to meter out and carry the food from the barn to the pen, at Jim’s feet. With a slight side step Jim avoided getting hit in the shin but he was not upset in the least at the outburst. Harvey exited the pen, closed the door and secured the latch before he moved to where Jim stood. He was about to bend and pick up the tub, but Jim’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.

 

“Who was Alma?” Jim’s blue eyes pleaded gently, searching Harvey’s gaze and Harvey felt something in his chest unknot. He looked at the shirt Jim was wearing, the exact spot he had graced it with a kiss and he knew that he couldn’t lash out in anger; couldn’t tell Jim to change the subject; couldn’t hide the pain any longer.

 

“My wife.”

 

Sympathy flooded Jim’s expression. “She died?”

 

Harvey nodded. “Ten years ago. It was a car crash. They were-“Harvey paused feeling breathless and as if his heart were going to beat out of his chest or mouth any second now.  “on their way home. She; it was raining and a truck driver- “Harvey left the rest unsaid and Jim placed his other hand upon Harvey’s chest.

 

“I’m so sorry.”

 

And Harvey believed him. He couldn’t speak, just stare into Jim’s eyes and plead silently for salvation. To rescue him Jim pulled him forward into his arms and held him tightly. Harvey embraced him back, his arms heavy and hug tight. Jim ran a and down the back of Harvey’s hair and just stood his ground, holding the man while both of their heart beats slowed, leveling out to normal rhythms. They both lost track of how long they stood there, not that it mattered for neither man was counting. Presently however, Harvey pulled back from the embrace and patted Jim’s shoulders with warm hands and touched his face with a palm.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“No problem.” Jim answered enjoying the tingle of the flesh of his cheek where Harvey’s hand had touched him. He pulled his arms around himself a little and Harvey realized the man was cold.

 

Harvey picked up the feed tub and slung his opposite arm around Jim’s shoulders. “C’mon Jim. Let’s get inside before this turns into some ‘ _Steel Magnolias’_ moment.”

 

“Oh, I think it’s far too late for **that**.” Jim encircled an arm around Harvey in return. When they reached the stairs, Harvey left the tub there and let Jim inside before following, Einstein slipping in just before the door closed. He turned to Harvey’s profile his curiosity burning. “Did you see that movie or- “

 

“If you’ve ever lived with a woman you’ve seen it.” Harvey silenced with tender annoyance. “That and ‘ _Beaches’_ , for fucks sake.”

 

Jim laughed and realized that his fiancé had made him sit through the second film as well as _‘An Officer And A Gentleman’_. He didn’t care to mention either film at the moment and followed Harvey back into the reading room. Once they were inside Harvey seated himself upon the love seat and Jim picked up the book from the recliner. He held it out to Harvey.

 

“I found Alma’s note to you inside. I thought I should tell you before I borrowed it so you could, uh.” Jim stopped the explanation there and rubbed a hand sheepishly over the nape of his neck. By the expression upon Harvey’s face it was obvious he knew exactly what ‘ _note’_ Jim was referencing.

 

“Its fine.” Harvey permitted motioning for Jim to sit down. He didn’t reach for the proffered book. “I trust that,” Harvey paused and looked from the book to Jim. “that you’ll keep it safe.”

 

“I will.” Jim responded as seriously as he did when he recited his oath when he joined the Army, and the second oath he stated when he graduated the police academy. However, with this pledge there was a tenderness that underlined the vow in his words. “Thank you for trusting me.” Jim sat back down in the chair, the book once more secure upon his lap.

 

Harvey waved off the effort more tired than flippant in his action. “She gave that to me the birthday before, before Violet was born. She had gone to the doctor and they told her the sex of the baby and she couldn’t wait to tell me. I would have been just as happy to wait until she was born to find out the gender but, Alma was always thinking ahead.” Harvey pointed to his temple. “She wanted the nursery to be right, have all the formulas, blankets, everything that kid would need before she ever left the hospital. We spent a fortune,” Harvey laughed. “but neither of us cared we were so stupidly happy.” Harvey paused and took a visible breath before continuing in his tale.  “And Violet, that girl had spirit. She had her mother’s beauty and my tell it like it is personality. She was kind though; loved the goats.” Harvey paused and jutted his chin out in the vague direction of the pen outside. “They were her pets when she got old enough to have them.” Harvey ran his hands down his thighs and his expression pinched and Jim knew that revealing these most intimate details of his life was costing his friend; and all he wanted to do was provide him comfort; honored by the fact that he was being told these events at all.

 

“They were both in the car that night. We lost Violet at the scene and then a few days later, Alma.” Harvey looked down at his lap, his palms and said plaintively, “I wasn’t there when it happened. I was at work; in Dublin at a seminar to help me advance in the department.”  Harvey lowered his hands and looked at Jim. “And for what? So, I could make more money? Have better hours? They were dying on the road and I was only thinking of myself.”

 

“Harvey.” Jim disagreed gently, he sat forward and took a hold of one of his friend’s hands.  “You were there because you wanted a better life for your family. That’s not what a selfish man does. Trust me, I know about selfishness but you, you loved them. You only wanted what was best for them.”

 

Harvey closed his eyes and squeezed Jim’s hand.  “I was supposed to be here; with them. There was a last-minute cancellation and I took it. If I had just stayed here they’d,”

 

“What?” Jim demanded sharply enough that Harvey’s eyes were instantly open and trained on him. “They’d be _alive_? You don’t know that, Harvey. You could have survived the crash and still lost them.”

 

“Maybe not but at least I’d be with them!” Harvey revealed bitterly.

 

“Please. Don’t say that, Harvey.” Jim begged softly.  “You have a life here with your relatives; your people.”

 

“My people?” Harvey asked looking at Jim knowingly. “I wasn’t born here, Alma was. These are _her_ people and I only stayed because, I knew they’d lost her too.” Harvey shook his head. “Don’t be happy I’m alive Jim, scratch the surface and you’ll see- “

 

“Then let me.” Jim interrupted not wishing to sit and listen to Harvey come down on himself and lament his survivor’s guilt. “Let me get to know you and judge for myself how worthy you are of life. Because as it stands now, the more you tell me the more I want to know of you.”

 

“God, you are stupid aren’t you Jim?” Harvey couldn’t help but laugh wearily. Jim’s initial response was to reach for his other hand.

 

“Let me decide for myself.”

 

“Fine.” Harvey permitted seconds later. He looked from their union of hands to Jim’s determined features. “But if we’re going to be holding hands the entire time,”

 

“Sorry!” Jim withdrew his limbs to his own side of the room. “I wanted to make certain I had your attention.”

 

Well that Jim Gordon had in spades, but Harvey smiled at him appreciating the man’s affection towards him. “You have that Junior. Why else would I tell you my sob story?”

 

“Exactly.” Guilt colored the edges of Jim’s gaze.  He took a breath knowing that he owed Harvey much now that they were sharing secrets; painful as they were; but they were still confiding in one another. He could hardly be hypocritical and not risk showing his vulnerabilities as well; that would be cruel even for him. Jim swallowed and said, “When I woke up in the hospital only my Captain was there. My brother is my emergency contact but he; I found out later; had no intention of coming. The doctors started reading the list of my injuries and I thought that I wasn’t going to be stopped like that. I wasn’t going to let my body prevent me from doing what I was born to do. I was meant to clean up Gotham; from the inside out but I am **going** to do it. For the people; for myself; for my father’s legacy.” Jim looked down at his lap and motioned to his body in indication.

 

“But if I can’t do that,” Jim paused and raised his tear misted gaze to Harvey’s. “I have nothing Harvey. I systematically built my life around this fight and if I can’t be a part of it, there’s no alternate plan.”

 

Harvey nodded understanding the gravity of what Jim was telling him. “One question though. You said that one of the reasons you wanted to fix Gotham was because of your father; for _his_ legacy.”

 

“Yes. He was a prosecutor in the district attorney’s office. He believed in a better Gotham for the people. He died in a car accident we were in when I was thirteen.” Harvey reached out for Jim’s hand realizing just how profoundly Jim understood his own loss. Jim allowed him a small smile and squeezed his hand appreciatively.  “He was doing just that when he died and I could think of no better cause to strive for in my own life.”

 

“See, that’s the thing Jim. You’re living for **his** legacy, but what about your own? You told me that you have no secondary plan. If you want to heal Gotham for yourself, great; I say I’ll back that intention on thousand percent. But for your father? His life’s work was his own. Distinguishing yourself from his intentions is the best thing you can do. It’ll free you to live for yourself; and that plan B is bound to make itself known. I guarantee it.” Harvey squeezed Jim’s hand and held strict eye contact, the volume of his voice lowering. “Trust me when I say this Jim, you can only live in the service of others, but it means nothing if you don’t also live for yourself.”

 

Jim nodded and his big, blue eyes pleaded with Harvey for more direction. “How?” He asked voice cracking slightly. “How do I do that if I can’t be a cop?”

 

The question was heart breaking and Harvey moved a little closer to Jim, nearly dropping a knee to the floor off of the couch. “You get off the streets and climb the internal ladder. No one says a Chief of police or Commissioner, or whatever you have in Gotham has to be able to walk without a limp. That doesn’t work? Go into law; politics; make the rules the cops have to follow. Anything but do it because that’s what _you_ want, not because you knew it was something your father wanted.”

 

Jim applied a little more pressure to their union of hands and then ran his thumb over the back of Harvey’s hand, gaze watching his movements, a tender smile curling his lips.  “I think Doochary is lucky to have a man like you here.”

 

Harvey did laugh at this.  “I think they’d beg to differ.”

 

The conversation turned to Jim speaking about his injuries, the weeks in physical rehabilitation facility and subsequent surgeries. He was determined externally but depressed within. He spoke of his mind maddening pain, his struggle not to succumb to abandoning everything to failure and taking his own life. He promised Harvey he had never reached the point where he held his service weapon in his hand and contemplated the end, but he did know that was how he would kill himself. Something within him would always spark and save him from his failure, but the embers were growing increasingly dimmer and traveling had been a last-ditch effort to give his life focus and meaning.

 

In turn Harvey spoke of the dark days following his daughter and wife’s death. He admitted having to accept while losing Alma had been devastating, losing eight-year-old Violet was far worse. The first year he spent drunk out of his mind and the seconds picking fights with anyone that he could manipulate to take a swing at him. As the decade progressed he isolated himself on the mountain and built his cottage. Living in town brought back far too many painful memories and he made his living with odd jobs and handouts from the residents of the village. When Violet’s goats had passed, he purchased the three Jim saw in the pen because to have none unnerved him. He understood it was a last tether to his daughter’s life but he had been unable to surrender it just yet.

 

Between conversations Jim got up and had to move. He followed Harvey around the small plot of land helping with the daily chores. They had lunch in the kitchen followed by an aggravating few hands of poker, bickering over what activities constituted sports. What were the best sports/sportsman in the world? What was the exact philosophy behind societies requirement of sport? And finally, which flexible rules of card games were just out right cheating. By early afternoon Jim was down one game to two and admitted he had never been very good at cards; leaving Harvey to lament that they should have been playing for money.

 

By midafternoon Jim once more accompanied Harvey outside. Harvey opened the goat pen and allowed the animals to wander around keeping an eye on them with Einstein.  They took a walk as they followed the goats to grazing land and once more Jim took in the breath-taking sight of the village below them. He had borrowed a fisherman’s sweater from Harvey so he could enjoy the view without being cold, yet he still stood or walked close to the older man, out of habit and out of need. All the conversations about his rawest of emotions had left him feeling vulnerable and Jim didn’t enjoy that sensation. Being near Harvey seemed to placate his anxiety so he used whatever means to his advantage in this situation.

 

“It’s beautiful.” Jim mused looking away from the landscape to his friend’s profile.  “Was this part of the reason you stayed? Small as it would have been?”

 

Harvey huffed at that and looked at Jim. “Doochary gets inside of you. All the townships here it’s the same. You work the land, you begin to know the people, next thing you know you’re a part of something there’s no name for, but everyone around you is aware of.” He shrugged. “What about Gotham?”

 

Jim’s jaw tightened a little at the mention of his hometown. “Gotham gets inside you all right, but not like here.” Jim leaned a little towards Harvey. “Gotham is insidious; breaks a man’s spirit, crushes his dreams, corrupts his innocence. But I was born there, raised; so, I can’t turn my back on it just because it’s hard living there. You have your wife’s people, I have my own.”

 

“Yeah,” Harvey agreed with a short pause before he pushed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “But I have my own people too. I just don’t want to go home because then I’d have to deal with all the Bullock nonsense and I have enough as it is now to deal with.” He chuckled. “We’re a hard family, but we get on; somehow.”

 

Jim grinned at the thought of having a large, extended family like Harvey must. “It’s just me and my brother now. He’s married, has two kids. They live California and I never see them. I’ve sent the kids presents but, Roger isn’t close with me.” Jim’s expression fell. “Nor I with him. Our mother died two years ago, she was out there with her grandchildren at least. I attended the funeral but I knew that she was just happy to be buried outside of Gotham.” Jim shifted his gaze back to the scenery. “I’ll be buried there like my father.”

 

Harvey studied Jim’s profile. The view might be beautiful to Jim, but Jim was stunning according to Harvey. “You so sure of that, are you?” Jim looked at him with mild protest. “Certainty like that is an open invitation to the Universe to fuck up your intentions my friend. I wouldn’t go around making such pronouncements.”

 

“Maybe you’re right.” Jim surprised Harvey by agreeing. “I thought I would be a cop until I was forced to retire, but now? I’m terrified that-“

 

“Don’t!” Harvey silenced and raised a hand in emphasis. “Look it, we already _had_ this discussion Jim. And both of us decided that you were going to get well and be reinstated.”

 

Protest showed within Jim’s expression. “But you just finished saying that, that type of certainty begs- “

 

“I know what I said!” Harvey interrupted sharply turning fully to face Jim. “Just forget that for a second and focus. Would you please?” He paused, his hands out of his pockets and gesturing as he talked. He was very expressive with them and that was one of the things that Jim enjoyed about him.  “You’re going to heal, do what you gotta do to get there and I have your back. Alright? You’re gonna get through this and it’s not going to break you; just like Gotham; not, gonna, happen.”

 

“And why is that exactly?”

 

Harvey rolled his eyes as if the answer were perfectly obvious. He placed a firm hand upon Jim’s shoulder and said, “Because you’re Jim ‘fucking’ Gordon. _That’s_ why. And trust me when I say this Jim I have a feeling about you and my gut instincts are never wrong.”

 

“Okay.” Jim accepted. “I’ll do my part and count on you to do yours.”

 

“Is this where the ‘ _Rocky’_ montage comes in?” Jim couldn’t help but laugh at Harvey’s joke and he gave him a short hug, wishing he could hold on far longer. His smile was broad, his chest light and happy once more. “Cause I’m not going to die at the end of this film.”

 

“No montage.” Jim promised patting Harvey’s back and reluctantly withdrawing from the embrace. He was pleased that Harvey extended the contact by leaving both of his hands upon Jim’s shoulders.

 

“You’re all right Jim. You know that, right?”

 

Jim nodded. “I know.”

 

“Good. Now help me herd these goats back home before sunset.”

 

 Jim did as he was bidden and soon after getting the chickens back to their coups and the goats into the barn, Harvey fed Einstein and then set about preparing dinner for himself and Jim. Jim was able to help somewhat and Harvey found that he took direction well, and true to his assurance the previous day, Jim did indeed know his way around the kitchen. While Harvey didn’t have wine to serve with their meal he had whiskey and poured them each a couple of fingers. Jim was a little hesitant about drinking but promised himself he would stop at one glass and the rest of the night drink water. Harvey didn’t seem offended by the choice and even readily supplied him with water. He on the other hand, was going to drink if he felt like it; and he did not. Harvey had started a fire in the fireplace and the two of them sat in the living room, both on the same couch this time.

 

“Do I get to see you tomorrow?” Jim boldly inquired.

 

Harvey bit his bottom lip and felt his stomach drop at the question.  “I have work in town. I won’t be free until early evening.  Can you wait?”

 

“Of course.” Jim stated disappointment clear upon his features. “You wouldn’t happen to need some help tomorrow though?”

 

Harvey cleared his throat. “Not this time Junior. We’ll have dinner tomorrow and a drink at the Inn.”

 

“Yeah, sure. Absolutely.” There was a little hope with in Jim’s gaze. He offered Harvey a small smile, hoping he wasn’t being pushy. While he didn’t want Harvey to be uncomfortable with Jim’s obvious crush on him, at the same time he valued their budding friendship and would settle for just knowing Harvey in a platonic manner if they could at the least be friends. “I’m certain I’ll find something to keep me occupied for the day.”

 

“Good.” Harvey nodded regretting that he could not bring Jim along to work. However, the people he was going to help were not friendly to outsiders and he had enough to deal with regarding their dislike of him. “I’ll be at the pub at six.” Harvey’s tension softened at optimism; even if he sensed it might be worn for his own sake; he appreciated the effort none the less.

 

A thought occurred to Jim and he clutched on to it hoping that it would infuse some positive enthusiasm into the atmosphere between them. “I was thinking about the book you’re letting me borrow. What’s your favorite story out of it? I was thinking I would start with that one.”

 

“There’s a few.” Harvey admitted a little touched by Jim’s desire to know him better through the stories he used to be read as a child and had read to his daughter in turn. “They’re all marked though. Dog eared pages, smears of chocolate. You’ll know which ones they are.”

 

Jim canted his head to the side. “Chocolate?”

 

Harvey nodded. “Some nights well after dinner we’d start a fire in the hearth and melt chocolate and marshmallows on sugar cookies. I’d read to Violet and she’d feed me.” Harvey’s eyes shown with an intense love at the memory. “She said all her favorite stories were the same ones as mine. I think she just said that to make me happy.” It was more than obvious that his daughter’s ploy had worked.

 

Jim couldn’t help but be affected by the affection he heard in Harvey’s voice and the profound love the man had for his daughter.  “She sounds like she was quite the little girl.”

 

“She was.” Harvey smiled in assurance. “Her mother named her after her favorite flowers, but that child was what my mother would call; ‘born of the mud’. She was into everything, never afraid to get dirty and always wanting to know the _why_ of things.” Harvey stifled a slight laugh and Jim followed suit with his own amusement. “She had her mother’s brains and my brawn. And that little girl? She’d set her mind to something and it wouldn’t take her long before she had either made it happen herself, or manipulated someone else into doing what she wanted.”

 

“How old was she when,” Jim allowed the question to die out upon his tongue and was grateful that it didn’t steal the affection and happiness from Harvey as he continued to speak of his daughter.

 

“Eight.”

 

Jim nodded. “I’m sorry.”

 

Harvey stared at him for a few seconds in the dim lighting of the room. “You remind me of her a little. Your determination; that’s the same grit she had in her belly; she was **strong**.”

 

Jim took a quiet breath. “Is that why you believe that I’ll make it back onto the force? Because of my similar grit?”

 

“Some.” Harvey ran a hand down the sides of his face and over his mouth before speaking once more. “I’ve always had instincts that are never proven wrong. If I believe something in my gut it’s so. And when I look at you, I **know** that you’ll recover and continue being a cop. It’s not just kind words to humor you Jim. I’m telling you the truth. You just have to believe for yourself to prove me right.”

 

“I _do_ believe Harvey. And your support is the first I’ve had in, “Jim paused for a beat and groped for some elusive word that could accurately describe what he was feeling, but they all seemed incorrect. “so long.” He settled for that and held Harvey’s gaze. “Look, I realize that I can be over zealous in my desire to be around you. I get that. And I know you know that I embarrassed myself last night with the whole,” Jim motioned to Harvey’s neck. “hickey situation. But your friendship? The reality of that is what I’m craving and what keeps me circling you like some famished predator. I like you Harvey, I like being around you, and the compassion you’ve shown me these past few days-“

 

“I’m going to stop you right there.” Harvey stated holding up a hand to silence Jim. “Hickey situation? Craving? Famished predator? Don’t be so overly dramatic Junior. The truth of the matter is that you’re starved for positive attention and I gave it to you. Of _course,_ you want to be friends; to be around me. It’s not something for you to be ashamed of, or think I’m made nervous by. Just enjoy our time together.” To clarify Harvey reached out and touched Jim on the thigh. “Okay, Jim?”

 

Relief flooded throughout Jim’s system but behind his eyes there was a spark of pain and disagreement. Harvey noticed but didn’t call Jim out on it as he felt he had drawn the younger male through the wringer more than enough for one conversation. Jim placed his own hand upon Harvey’s.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.” They stared at one another for several silent seconds and they could hear the wind outside and Einstein snoring on the floor in his sleep. “I best get you back to town.”

 

Disappointment flooded Jim’s expression. “Yes, you have work tomorrow.” He nodded and patted Harvey’s hand before withdrawing his touch.  Jim was already dreading the rest of the night being separated from Harvey as his friend was right; he was attention starved and he craved the very interaction that Harvey provided. However, Jim understood that it was far more than just being lonely that drove him to circle Harvey, compelled him to get close as possible. For now, he didn’t want to think about what that reason was as he had already embarrassed himself enough for one evening. Then again, there was always tomorrow.

 


	3. Chapter Three: Irish Fairytales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Jim become closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own but you can let me know if you find them. All comments, kudos, criticisms and suggestions welcome.
> 
> Again to my fantastic muse, my wife.

**Chapter Three: Irish Fairytales**

That night he dreamt of screeching metal, broken glass, gunshots and pain. Try as he might he couldn’t rescue his father, the woman, little girl, or Harvey from dying in the crash and hail of gun fire. The more desperate he became the less effective his attempts were and thus his hope was depleted.  He woke up abruptly, gasping for air and covered in sweat, chest heaving as if he had just run a great distance. Outside the rain pelted his room window and Jim held his head in his hands wishing there were some way to contact Harvey. In all their interactions over the past few days Jim had failed to ask for a cell or phone number to reach his new friend.  Body trembling Jim put his feet on the floor and ran his hands back through his hair both to wake himself up fully and to self soothe. The emotions of the dream were slow to release him while the mental images had faded quickly the longer he was awake. He felt like weeping but logically he understood that there was no reason too. He had just been dreaming and the images weren’t real, and not matter how prescient the emotions felt now they were just illusions of his mind as well.

 

Harvey. Jim missed Harvey.

 

Jim spent the rest of the early morning hours in a fitful sleep and finally surrendered around six in the morning and rose. He took a run to clear his head, the cold weather, rain slick streets and puddles and mud a stern reminder that so much life happened externally while he was trapped inside of his own head. He nodded to a few people that were out and received strange looks from all of them. He found himself nearing the road that would lead away from town and up to the mountain Harvey lived on but he forced himself to turn around and put the road to his back. Harvey had work to do and expressly told Jim he would see him that evening. It wouldn’t do for him to push boundaries of a friendship he was working so hard to maintain. The further he got from the road the heavier his heart felt but Jim was determined to respect Harvey’s wishes.

 

By the time, Jim returned to the Crooked Salmon he was just as damp with mist as he was with sweat. After a quick shower, he dressed and had a small breakfast in the Inn pub, mainly because Ulicia couldn’t stand the thought of him starting his day on an empty stomach. He thanked her, paid for his meal and then went upstairs to brush his teeth and gather his backpack for the day.  Harvey might be working but Jim had some exploring to do and going to keep himself busy if it drove him too distraction. By midmorning he had surrendered to defeat in Doochary and driven to the next town over, which was larger and had more points of interest than just a castle.  All day long his stomach was tense and he was anxious, preoccupied with the slow march of time and missing Harvey fiercely.

 

Harvey was fairing little better than Jim. His only salvation was that he had rudimentary tasks to keep his focus momentarily away from the blond, blue eyed, young distraction he teasingly titled ‘Junior’. Upon returning home from dropping Jim back at the Crooked Salmon, Harvey had taken a few shots of whiskey before managing to put himself to bed. He lay there for several hours thinking only of Jim, of his dead Alma and Violet and all the potential happiness both he and Jim had lost over the deaths of family members. Jim; Harvey predicted; had been exceedingly close to his father, at least enough to want to carry on the man’s work in his adult life. The kid had his head so warped with the metering out of justice and fixing the impossible that he was losing himself in it. It broke Harvey’s heart to see that Jim was so singularly focused on ideals that had little to do with himself and everything to do with another person’s vision of a future that he longed to pull the younger man into his embrace and hold him until he came to his senses. Or perhaps Harvey was the one that was delusional.  He was fifty-two-years-old and he was falling for a man who was at the most in his thirties. A man that was a visitor, not resident; that had a life in another country across an ocean.

 

Harvey groaned and covered his face with his hands. How could this be happening to him? For ten years he had lived in the memory of a loving wife and daughter and now? Now he actually saw a life outside of isolated nothingness, with a beautiful man that he wanted to heal from all of his pains. A man that in a drunken state had promised Harvey any sexual favor under the sun if he just put his mouth on him. Yet that had been the drink loosening inhibitions and stone, cold, sober Jim might have a very different opinion on the matter. There was only one way to find out but when it came to asking, Harvey felt his throat close. To hear rejection at this stage in their friendship would break Harvey in a way he couldn’t even stomach contemplating. In addition, would he be able to trust an affirmative answer after they had discussed so many intimate things that left them both vulnerable? Perhaps Jim would say yes, then regret it later due to the belief he had been emotionally taken advantage of by Harvey. While Harvey would rather cut off his own hand than manipulate Jim, he couldn’t even fantasize a scenario where Jim agreed to stay with him; have sex with him; that seemed plausible. And why would Jim want him? Harvey was damaged goods at best, an old man at worst.

 

Harvey rose with the sun, did what chores he had to for his chickens and goats, before making certain Einstein had enough fresh water in his outside bowl and made his way towards town. There were several areas along the way where his day’s clients lived and he stopped by each in turn. Some of the tasks were back breaking, some seemingly pointless and still others humiliating. All of which were paid for to his accounts at the grocer or pharmacist. As the hours crept by Harvey’s thoughts never wandered far from Jim, so by the time he had finished his work day, Harvey returned to the farm to do his afternoon chores and got ready to go back into Doochary proper. He showered, trimmed unruly bits of his beard, brushed his hair into some sort of subtle style, and changed into a button-down shirt and a newer pair of jeans he had yet to destroy.  Checking himself in the mirror one final time; something he never did since his wife’s death; Harvey nodded once at his reflection in approval and turned to leave.

 

Einstein stared up from the floor at him.  “What?” Harvey demanded as the dog began to wag its tail. “I know it’s not a date for christ’s sake. So, stop looking at me like that.” Einstein whined and pushed his head up against one of Harvey’s hands. “Bugger off you mangy, flea bag.” Harvey groused scratching the dog behind the ears. Einstein followed him to the door but sat down meters before it and watched his master leave.

 

Jim Gordon was currently having a crisis of vast proportions as he stared at himself in the standing mirror in his room.  If he tucked the shirt tails into his trousers he would have to wear a belt and that would make him dressed for a date to impress. If he left the shirt tails out he could still wear the trousers but that was a subtler nod to a date of comfort. However, if he wore the shirt tails out and jeans, that merely indicated he either needed to do laundry or didn’t take the evenings company as a date but mere friends. He had abandoned fussing with his hair ten minutes ago and had spent the rest of his time staring at his clothes. What was he even doing? Clearly Harvey was not attracted to men, and if he was Jim was apparently not his type.  Given his reaction when Jim had explained his bisexuality of sorts, the warning still rang sharp in Jim’s mind. The town was homophobic, but Harvey was a member of its ranks and perhaps had a little of the unfounded distaste himself. While Jim hated to believe that of his friend it was still a possibility. Jim checked the time on his wrist watch and frowned. Crisis or not he needed to put on pants if he was ever going to go downstairs and meet Harvey. Doubting himself entirely, Jim chose the trousers with shirt tails untucked. It had been ages; or so he felt; that his appearance had mattered so much to him as it did in this moment. He wondered how lengthy Harvey’s teasing would be once he saw him.

 

Harvey arrived while Jim was upstairs changing. He gave a nod to Kerill and Ulicia, and when Kerill went to pour him a pint Harvey shook his head and pointed to the Inn staircase in indication of Jim. Kerill frowned and Ulicia cocked her head in consideration, all three of them said nothing to one another as Harvey moved to the stairs. He clenched his fists together hoping that the tremors would stop before he reached Jim’s door. Jim might mistake it for alcohol withdraw and not nervousness; either reason left his knotted stomach burning cold. Harvey was about to knock on Jim’s door, fist raised when the door opened and Jim filled the threshold both nearly gasping at the other in surprise.

 

Harvey’s entire body burst to life at the mere sight of Jim. The tension he had been carrying in his jaw and stomach vanished completely and his muscles began to relax. For Jim, the result was just as intense. The anxiousness he had been plagued with all day; the longing; evaporated the second he took in Harvey. The grin that spread across Jim’s features lit the entire hallway in bright sunlight and Harvey smiled dumbly in return.

 

“Hi.” Jim stated as he had the first time he had seen Harvey.

 

“Hi yourself.” Harvey mirrored of that first meeting, only this time instead of anger, his voice held breathy approval.

 

Jim’s cheeks reddened and the nape of his neck began to burn with desire and embarrassment as he blurted, “I went exploring a township over today. There’s a restaurant there I really want to try. My treat. And I can drive you somewhere for a change.”

 

“Sure. I’d like that.” Harvey shared sticking one of his hands into his coat pocket. He didn’t want to risk reaching out and touching Jim like his fingers itched too. “Are you ready to go?”

 

“I just need my coat.” Jim said, eyes glistening, smile reaching them.

 

Harvey wondered if Jim knew that when he played with his lips that it made Harvey want to kiss him all the more to taste them.  It couldn’t escape Jim’s notice how handsome he was, but at least the younger male wasn’t arrogant about it. Harvey stepped back to allow Jim to exit his room and for a minute Jim’s back was to his chest, and when they brushed Harvey quickly apologized and moved away immediately. Jim’s smile fell as he locked his door and made his way to the staircase. He had enjoyed their slight collision of sorts. Still he went down the stairs first and Harvey followed. Jim put on his coat at the landing and the two quietly exited the bar and made their way to where Jim had parked his rental car.

 

“It’s not too far out of the way. I had lunch near there this afternoon and asked about it.”

 

“Where’d you have lunch?” Harvey couldn’t imagine one eatery giving another of its competition a good review to a tourist.

 

“The park.” Jim informed getting into the car, Harvey folded himself in on the passenger side and Jim beamed at him. “How was work?”

 

“Mind numbing.” Harvey was honest with his deadpan humor that had Jim questioning just a little if he were serious or not. “I didn’t sleep very well last night.”

 

“Neither did I.” Jim replied sympathetically as he drove. “I had nightmares about the crash. Things I haven’t dreamt about for a while now.”

 

“We did hit our life stories pretty hard yesterday.” Harvey informed looking at Jim’s profile and silently glad that Jim kept his own gaze upon the road ahead of them.

 

“I know we did.” Jim reached out with a hand and touched Harvey’s leg. “And I’m sorry if I made you talk about things you would have rather not. I feel bad- “

 

“Don’t.” Harvey assured placing his hand upon Jim’s. If any other male had touched him in this manner Harvey would have shoved the touch away long ago and issued a warning not to do that in the future.  “I wanted to tell you, and I know damn well you needed to tell me.” He shrugged his left shoulder and squeezed Jim’s hand a little, thumb stroking at his wrist.  “We’re good.”

 

Jim was immediately relieved and a little bit upset that he had to sever their union of hands due to his needing to touch the wheel. Harvey easily allowed him to pull away and glanced out the windscreen before looking back once more at Jim’s profile. “Did you have a good day though?”

 

Jim grunted. “I think it would have been better if I had spent it with you, but it was nice enough.” He chanced a glance at his friend. “Did you miss me at all?” Jim grinned and waggled his eyebrows causing Harvey to chuckle.

 

“No.” He obviously lied. “Why would I? We’re seeing each other now.”

 

“Okay, okay.” Jim held up a hand briefly in surrender from the wheel. “I guess I’m just basking in your positive attention again. I’ll stop.”

 

Harvey frowned. “I didn’t say _that_. I just said that I knew we were gonna see each other tonight so I didn’t miss you.” The lie rang with guilt within Harvey’s mind and he realized that he couldn’t leave the comment alone, couldn’t mislead Jim and sound innocent in his intent. “Much.”

 

Jim grinned at the addition. “Well I for one thought about you all day.” Jim admitted coyly. “I started the book you gave me and you’re right, pretty bloody in some cases.”

 

“The way fairytales ought to be; just like life.”

 

“I suppose.” Jim wasn’t certain if he wanted to begin a debate about at what age children should learn about real violence versus fictitious artistic license. Never having had children he didn’t really think he could speak with any authority past his opinions on the matter. “I’m glad you told me about the chocolate though. I might have spent all day trying to figure out what the hell it was on the pages. Never mind the marshmallow residue.”

 

The thought of this; the innuendo he would make about ejaculate made him laugh hard and he knew Jim could read the potential joke forming within his mind. They had spent enough time together to know a little bit about what juvenile topics were always funny no matter how old they got. Jim joined in the laughter and he lightly shoved Harvey’s arm before returning his hand to the steering wheel.

 

“Stop it!”

 

“Don’t worry, Junior. I liked those stories but not **that** much.” He grinned and nudged Jim’s arm. “And I sure as hell wouldn’t have read _those_ stories to my daughter.”

 

“I should say you wouldn’t.” Jim teased through a laugh. “But you could read them to me.”

 

Harvey grunted. “We’ll see Junior. I’m a little out of practice.”

 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Jim vowed with a slight sexual overtone to his tone and he looked back at the road realizing he needed to cool it with the flirting for a while. It was too easy to fall into a teasing give and take with Harvey. But at the same time, it left him wanting to follow through.

 

They chatted in more detail about their days as the drive progressed and by the time they had reached the restaurant Jim was finishing up explaining which story in the book he had read and they discussed what the ambiguous moral of the story was. Jim had his views but as Harvey grew up where the stories were originally told before being written down, he had to concede that Harvey had the inside track on their meanings. He surrendered with a promise to ‘make it up’ to Harvey for his ignorance. He ordered a bottle of wine once they were seated at their table and Harvey a tumbler of top shelf whiskey from the bar. Harvey whistled low impressed.

 

“You trying to get me tipsy here Jimmy?”

 

“No. I’m trying to show you that I appreciate you. That’s all.” Jim crossed his heart and reached for the menu. “I really want this to be a nice diner.”

 

Harvey’s brow furrowed. A nice restaurant, expensive drinks, more care with his appearance and more formal clothing; it had Harvey abruptly concerned. “This isn’t our last one, is it?”

 

Stunned, Jim looked up from the menu. “No! I’m not leaving just yet.”

 

“That’s what I thought.” Harvey mused opening his own menu. The waiter came over and explained the specials and brought and opened their wine choice. After taking their requests the waiter left them alone once more.  “I think I may have been in this building once upon a time ago. It was another restaurant at the time though. Allot of things change in ten years fifteen years.”

 

Jim’s features fell a little. “You brought Alma here?”

 

“No.” explained Harvey watching Jim relax at the admission. “My girl before her. She had an uncle that owned the place so we ate cheap.” He shrugged. “I think I might have gone out with her longer because of that. The food was fairly good.”

 

“The do say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

 

“Not in my case.” Harvey assured taking a sip of his whiskey. It was smooth and delicious and caused him to close his eyes for a split second and release a small moan of approval. “Good choice Jim.”

 

Jim grinned and bowed his head once in acceptance of the complement. He couldn’t help smiling at Harvey or think about how good his little moan had sounded. “I gather the way to your heart is through your liver?”

 

“Sounds accurate.” Harvey teased putting the tumbler down. He wanted to savor the drink and planned on nursing it through the meal. “What about the way to your heart?”

 

The question caught Jim somewhat off guard and he stuttered a little before setting on an appropriate answer. “Taking care of me. That’s the fastest way to be honest. When I’m working a case I can be very focused and forget to do things like eat. Someone who takes the time to remember to ask me, or offer me food; or whatever the example may be. Just taking care of me when I’m neglecting myself.”

 

“And your last fiancé did that?”

 

“For a while. But then I got too involved in work, I didn’t care about doing all the things it takes to maintain a relationship. I just assumed that whenever I came up for air that she would be there. I was wrong.” Jim looked down at his place setting. “I can’t blame her for leaving; for wanting someone else. I’m not the easiest person to live with I know. I like things in certain places and can be neglectful of other people’s needs; I know it’s a short coming. But I am loyal, and when I love it’s with all of my heart.”

 

“What about your soul?”

 

Jim thought for a moment as the waiter came and went with their starters. The question was a profound one and Jim was giving it the attention that it required. “You know, the two times I’ve been in love? I don’t think I ever gave that away.” He huffed in disbelief and studied Harvey’s expression. “You did though.”

 

Harvey nodded. “Just the once.” He appraised Jim. “The one you truly are going to marry? That’ll be the one you give your soul too. They never tell you that in health studies in school, and your parents don’t talk about it, because they don’t realize that’s what happens. That’s what gives the love longevity.”

 

“I hope one day I experience that.” Jim mused longingly. Harvey reached across the table and patted his forearm gently.

 

“I can’t see how that won’t ever happen, Junior. Like me? You’re quite a catch.”

 

“You think so, do you?” Jim smirked feeling instantly more playful at Harvey’s reassurances. It took so little from the older man to change Jim’s mood. He wondered why such knowledge didn’t make him leery of getting closer to Harvey, and instead had the opposite effect.

 

As dinner progressed it was more intimate than their previous meal had been together in public. They laughed, leaned close to one another to keep certain topics more private and by the time coffee was being offered they both had joy shinning in their eyes and smiles on their faces. It was a nice alternative from their previous conversations that left them raw and emotional. When they walked back to the car Jim pressed his shoulder to the back of Harvey’s arm walking just slightly behind him. He leaned into the older man and was disappointed when they reached the car. He was enjoying their physical affection and as long as Harvey would permit it Jim would take advantage of the allowance.

 

For Harvey’s part, he was enjoying Jim’s physicality. There was no doubt in his mind that Jim’s flirtatious nature was genuine and perhaps directed entirely at him. Just why Jim believed that Harvey was sexually attractive in some manner was beyond Harvey’s suspension of belief, but as long as Jim flirted with him, he would indulge in flirting back. It was harmless; at least it wasn’t something they would act upon. Not that Harvey didn’t want to; he wanted Jim; but he didn’t think such a shift in their relationship would be wise. After all, Jim was going to leave Doochary one day soon. Harvey discovered he didn’t like that thought and on the drive home he rested a hand upon Jim’s leg. There were times during the journey that Jim would take that hand in his own and merely hold it, not say anything; merely glance at Harvey once or twice and smile. While Jim needed a little direction to get Harvey back to the mountain in the dark, Jim did make it and they arrived safe and sound.

 

“Come in?” Harvey asked as Jim killed the engine. Jim grinned obviously hoping he would receive an invitation. He followed Harvey into the house where they were greeted by Einstein and Harvey took their coats while Jim bent and pet the dog behind the ears. That accomplished Harvey moved to the fireplace and made a fire. Jim took his place upon the couch from the previous night and waited for Harvey to join him. Harvey sat a little closer than the night before and Jim reached out and touched the back of his hair on his shoulders. Harvey looked at him and Jim smiled, continuing to comb his fingers through the thick, chestnut hair. Their gazes held and neither said anything, however the silence was comfortable. Once more Harvey reached out and touched Jim’s leg, and Jim’s opposite hand immediately moved to lace their fingers together.

 

“I didn’t want to leave here last night.” Jim stated softly. “I know nothing would have happened between us, but I still wanted to stay. I wanted to sleep near you. Maybe,” Jim paused and glanced down at their union of hands as Harvey’s gaze had abruptly become far too intense for him to withstand. “maybe I wouldn’t have had nightmares.” He took a breath and raised his head to make eye contact. “Can I stay tonight? I’ll sleep on the couch just- just don’t make me go back to the Inn.”

 

“Why?” Harvey asked in honest confusion. “Why are you so hell bent on being close to me?”

 

Jim’s features fell to disbelief. “Because I like you. Because you make me **happy**. Because you’re you.” Jim shook his head. “What more do you need to hear? I’m asking you to please let me stay.”

 

For several broken seconds, Harvey looked at Jim and attempted to consider his options but they all came down to the fact that Jim was begging him in his way. How could he refuse someone in such dire straits? He nodded and the relief that flooded Jim was palpable.

 

“Thank you, Harvey.” Jim squeezed his friend’s hand. He didn’t push his luck with an embrace and managed to stay still where he sat.

 

“Don’t thank me just yet. I snore.”

 

“I can handle that.” Jim admitted lying his head upon the couch back.

 

“You say that now.” Harvey gently extricated his hand from Jim’s grip and patted his arm before withdrawing altogether. “We’ll see how tonight goes. If you can gut it out, I’ll help you save money at the Inn by asking you to stay here.” Jim’s entire being lit up at that possibility and he raised his head, fingers still stroking Harvey’s hair. He didn’t know why he offered such hospitality except he; like Jim; enjoyed the possibility of having Jim around him longer without all the driving too and from town to see him.

 

“What time tomorrow should I drive back up here?” Jim asked a little blush to his cheeks.

 

“Depends on when you leave here.” Harvey shrugged.

 

“Can’t argue with that logic.” Jim chuckled continuing to comb his fingers through and pet Harvey’s hair. He could not help but notice that Harvey was leaning into the touch, and his body language was far more open and relaxed, turning in Jim’s direction. “Feel good?”

 

“Yeah. It does.” Harvey leaned his head back a little and closed his eyes as Jim continued to stroke his hair in silence. Alma had done that long ago, but her touch he remembered being far different from Jim’s sure, yet gentle; fingers. He could all but feel Jim smiling beside him, could envision the broad smile breaking his features wide open and shining in his deep, blue, eyes. Jim was beautiful when he smiled; and the thought made Harvey smirk.

 

Jim leaned forward a little and dared to take the fingers of his opposite hand and run them gently up Harvey’s throat, Adams apple, to his chin and then slowly back down. He heard Harvey sigh approvingly and retraced his previous steps, only this time when he reached the chin he stroked along Harvey’s jaw line to his ear and back to his chin.

 

“I like your beard.” Jim admitted glad that Harvey’s eyes were closed, because if they were open and looking at him Jim knew that he would be blushing. “I always wondered what it felt like. I’ve never grown one of my own.” Jim’s fingers played upon Harvey’s cheek and it’s defining bone structure. “I’ve thought about touching it like this since I met you.” Jim sighed happily and moved slightly forward. “Can I kiss you?”

 

Harvey’s eyes sprang open and he raised his head. Jim tensed slightly noticing the surprise and defensiveness within Harvey’s body language. “Can you _what_?”

 

“Kiss you?” Jim responded withdrawing his hands from all physical contact with Harvey. “I want to feel the scratch of your beard on my face. I want to know how you taste; how you kiss; if nothing else just that. I want to kiss you.”

 

Harvey rose abruptly from the couch and Jim regretted saying anything at all, but having done so, he was going to stand his ground. “It’s good to _want_ , but; no; you can’t kiss me!”

 

“Why not?”

 

The question was an innocent one wrapped in a challenge and if he were honest, Harvey had no direct answer for it. He swallowed and stood there glaring down at Jim in disbelief. “Because!”

 

“And how would you qualify that?”

 

“I qualify it by saying these lips,” Harvey paused and motioned to his mouth with an extended finger. “are not for you, alright?”

 

Jim held up his palms in supplication. “I’m not trying to offend,”

 

“Well let’s get **one** thing straight though.” Growled Harvey pointing at Jim. “I’m not _offended_. You’re like of both genders, fine; whatever. All I’m saying is I’m not going to let you kiss me.”

 

“Fair enough.” Jim permitted lowering his hands to his lap. “Will you come back and sit down now?” Harvey waited a few seconds and then did so, his body still open towards Jim’s. Which was confusing enough and Jim wondered if Harvey wanted to be kissed but couldn’t reconcile it within his mind as of yet.

 

Harvey shook his head. “Kiss me. Of all the brain, damaged ideas.” He looked at Jim. “I’m flattered.” He admitted softly and this made Jim smile. “I just, I just don’t think it’s wise.” So much for being completely honest and tell Harvey his desires, but Jim was determined to listen just as much as Harvey was determined to be heard. “You’re only visiting here Jim. You live an ocean away. What if the kiss is half as good as I think it will be? Then where does that leave us? You still going home and me obsessing over something that didn’t mean to you a bit what it meant to me. No. I’m not going to put myself through that so do me a favor and keep your lips to yourself.”

 

Jim’s head spun for the words Harvey had just said to him. “What do you mean it wouldn’t mean as much to me? You don’t know what kissing you would do to me, make _me_ feel; or change in **my** life.”

 

“Change your life? Jesus and the saints Jim. How blind do you think I am? This is just all about you getting a father figures’ attention and approval. It’s a natural part of healing,” Harvey paused and gestured to the room around them. “To me? It’s not some passing thing. I never go into a relationship; without knowing _exactly_ where I stand and what I want. And as much as I want to kiss you; to **be** with you; I’ll be damned if I put myself through the hell that’ll come once you leave. I’m too old to pine for someone that has another life somewhere else. Losing Alma and Violet took any reserves I have. I promised myself that if I ever **did** love again that I wasn’t going to squander it, or fuck it up.”

 

Jim reached out and placed a hand flat upon Harvey’s chest. His mind was swirling with the many different parts of Harvey’s diatribe that he both needed and wanted to address. And his touch prevented Harvey from speaking further as their gazes locked, Jim’s expression was one of tender sympathy and his eyes shown bright with determination.

 

“Are you telling me that you could possibly fall in love with me?” Jim asked eyes looking moist in the firelight. “Because that is exactly what is happening to me with you.” Jim smiled affectionately, the hand he held against Harvey’s chest began to move making small circles. “You’ve got it all wrong Harvey. What I feel for you isn’t only some, one time act of self-sexual gratification, or solving of a psychological issue. I meant it when I said I value your friendship. That I like who you are and you make me happy. Those aren’t just idol words. I’m drawn to you. I want to **be** with you- “

 

Harvey reached out with his hands and took Jim’s face in his palms. He gently ran his thumbs up Jim’s cut cheek bones and peered deeply into his eyes as Jim fell silent. “You live in another country, Jim. In Gotham.” Harvey’s green eyes were pleading for Jim to accept the truth. “And I live here.”

 

Tears pricked Jim’s gaze. “You wouldn’t consider leaving. Will you?”

 

Harvey shook his head. “It’s not just about where we live, Jim.” There was true affection and regret in Harvey’s expression as he further explained. “Alma; I still love her and that won’t change.” He smiled sadly, expression sorrowful and he stroked Jim’s cheeks once more. “So, no, Jim. You can’t kiss me.”

 

Jim closed his eyes and squinted them shut pain etching his features. Harvey began to pull away and Jim grabbed his wrists. He turned his face and kissed fist one palm and then the other. Chest aching, he looked into Harvey’s eyes and asked. “Then why did we go on this date?”

 

Harvey shook his head. He couldn’t deny the truth of what Jim was saying; it had been a date from the moment Jim asked him to dinner. “Because I’m a masochistic bastard and; I don’t know Jim. I’m stupid and I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking straight. It was a mistake; my fault; and I’m sorry I put you through all that.”

 

Jim bowed his head and when he raised it once more into Harvey’s hands there were tears upon his face. “I have to go.” He whispered.

 

“It’s dark, I don’t want you driving- “

 

“Then please leave me alone.” Jim demanded releasing Harvey’s wrists and leaning back from his touch. “Please? I need to think.”

 

This Harvey could oblige. He rose to his feet and exited the living room and headed directly for his library. He closed the door and pushed his forehead against it. This was not how the evening was supposed to go at all. They were supposed to talk until the wee hours, Jim would fall asleep on the couch and Harvey would stoke the fire and cover him with a blanket. In the morning, they would have breakfast together, laugh over the night’s conversation and then Jim would drive back to town to collect his things. Not this; not the pain he inflicted upon Jim. How could he be so cruel? Yet wasn’t Jim being unrealistic? How could he expect Harvey to just be able to kiss him and let him go? To leave Doochary and follow him to a city that was so vastly different from his current life that he risked being swallowed up by it. Hadn’t Jim warned him of the dangers of Gotham’s hold? And now he wanted to expose him to that same danger so cavalierly? Never mind the memory of Alma was still palpable within his heart. How could he betray her and fall in love with Jim? Harvey sniffed back his own tears and turned away from the door.

 

This was not how the night was supposed to unfold at all.

 

Jim cried. Hot, angry, devastated tears like he had never cried since his father’s funeral. Yet this was different; more profound and the rejection stung. He knew Harvey was right; just being practical; yet that did nothing to alleviate the agony being rejected wrought.  He had unintentionally lied to Harvey when he said he ‘could’ fall for him; as the pain rose to a fever pitch he realized he was already in love with the other male. It didn’t matter that they had only known one another for such a short time; their connection was intense; their fit too perfect to be ignored. Only Harvey was out right refusing it instead of ignoring it. Jim wasn’t certain what hurt worse; never knowing what it felt like to kiss the man, or what he would be losing if he did. Either way Harvey had made the decision for them and although Jim didn’t wish to uphold it, at the moment his body was a fragile lump of grief upon the couch. He sat there staring into the fire and crying bitter tears. There had to be a way to reverse the decision; the damage; but for now, Jim could only see his pain. In the end, Jim was still competing against a dead wife, a battle that no one could ever win.

 

Jim lost track of time of how long he sat there feeling sorry for himself and crying. He rose stiffly from the couch and made his way over to the library door, fist hovering above the wood before gently knocking. In an instant the door opened, Harvey with a blanket around his shoulders and unshed tears in his eyes. Jim swallowed and looked at him.

 

“I’m sorry, Harvey.” Jim apologized. Without responding Harvey stepped back from the door to permit Jim entry. This time he went to the love seat without allowing Harvey to protest and sat down. He took the other blanket draped over the back of the couch and wrapped it around himself. Within seconds Einstein had jumped up beside him and had his head resting upon Jim’s lap and curled himself into a circle. Jim idly pet Einstein’s head and smirked before the smile vanished and he looked up at Harvey. “I’m not the dramatic sort, but you were unexpected and I was hurt but, I respect you and therefore respect what you’re telling me. I just,” He paused and watched as Harvey sat down upon the recliner. “I care about you so much. And I know it’s impractical and I know you can’t love me because you still love Alma, but I wanted to believe just for a second we could be together.” He shrugged. “Stupid? Yes. But that’s what I feel.”

 

Harvey nodded and scratched his chin with the fingers of his left hand. “It’s alright Jim.” He managed to soothe convincingly. “Thank you for that.” He reached out and touched Jim’s knee with a hand. “I think it’s just best if we stick to the platonic stuff and forget I was a bastard who took you on a date.”

 

Jim shook his head, gaze looking down at Harvey’s hand that he clutched abruptly with his own. “I don’t want to forget. It was the best date I’ve ever had.” He laughed softly. “Before you say anything,” He paused and looked up at Harvey’s gaze. “please don’t defuse it by coming down on yourself. Just let me enjoy the date. Please?”

 

Harvey nodded and squeezed Jim’s hand. He pulled his hand free of Jim’s grip seconds later and sat back in his recliner. “So, you’ll still stay the night then?”

 

“It would be safer.” Jim agreed of Harvey’s previous pronouncement. “But I don’t think that I should stay here after tonight. It’s better to leave the boarding accommodations the way that they are.” Harvey agreed softly and Jim continued to stroke Einstein’s head and scratch behind his ears. Not much more was said as the two sat in relative comfortable silence for a long time.

 

The night was non-eventful after the two men sequestered themselves in different parts of the cottage. Neither one slept much, only dozed; and both awoke with the sun. Harvey heard the door open and close before emerging from his bedroom and before he was even three steps into the room he heard Jim’s rental car start. He walked over to the window by the door and peeked out watching the haggard man drive away. What else could he do? The situation wasn’t going to alter and Jim was old enough to make his own decisions. They would talk later, or they wouldn’t; but either way all Harvey could do was succumb to his daily tasks and go from there; even as unpleasant as it felt.

 

Jim had to bang on the door of the Crooked Salmon several times before Kerill emerged to open the door for him. He took in Jim’s ragged appearance and gave him a saucy wink and a smirk of approval. “Lass didn’t know what hit her eh?” He joked to Jim’s back as the man headed towards the stairs. His limp was stiff and painful due to the fetal like position he had slept in all night upon Harvey’s couch.

 

“No sir, she didn’t.” He answered without turning to address Kerill.

 

He took the stairs quietly as he was able and locked the door to his room.  He wanted to die. He began to take off his clothes and changed into a pair of clean underwear, socks, jeans and a polo shirt. After that he made a quick trip to the bathroom with his toiletries and returned to his room and locked the door. He didn’t want to see anyone nor interact with them. He just wanted to wallow in his misery and figure out his next move. Laying on the bed he dozed off and slept a few hours his body unable to sustain being awake any longer.  When he woke starving, he was clutching the book Harvey had loaned him to his chest. Oh yes, he wasn’t pathetic in the least. No wonder Harvey called him Junior; he was acting like a complete child, sulking and throwing a crying tantrum because Harvey wouldn’t do things his way. Yes, that was _certainly_ attractive to the older male.

 

Jim rose and went downstairs to order lunch from Ulicia and he took the book with him. He told himself it was just so he could read while he ate so that people wouldn’t disturb him but he needn’t have worried. There were two regulars at the bar and they left him alone entirely more intent upon talking about football with Kerill. Touching the book was as close as he would come to touching Harvey again and killed Jim. He knew he couldn’t stay much longer in Doochary if Harvey wouldn’t change his mind. Why should he? There was nothing worthwhile to him in the village save for Harvey and had ever been. At one point Jim had wanted to buy the woman who suggested he travel to Doochary a bottle of champagne. Now all he wanted to do was break that bottle and stab her in chest with it. Violent thoughts yes, but Jim was hurting. He did try and get out and about after lunch but soon grew bored and returned to the Inn to read in his room. He thought he saw Harvey’s range rover a couple of times, or hoped he did; and each time it turned out he was mistaken. That evening Jim sat at the bar, drank himself blind and needed two patrons from the bar’s help to make it back up to his room. There he collapsed on the bed; face down; and entered a nightmare tinged sleep.  Jim loathed dreaming about the shooting, yet here he was a slave to the memory untethered and playing repeatedly within his head.

 

The next morning Harvey shore up his courage and knocked upon Jim’s room door. The fact that Jim didn’t light up when he saw him hurt, but Harvey maintained his composure. Seeing Jim; being so close to him made his heart palpitate wildly.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey yourself.” Jim answered stilted and suspicious.

 

“Can I, talk to you a minute?” Jim stepped back from the door to permit Harvey entry. “Thanks.” He looked around the room spying the fairytale book upon the bedside table. At least in a few fairytales there were happy endings, yet in this particular one there were no survivors if the circles under Jim’s eyes reflected Harvey’s sentiments about it. It also didn’t go unnoticed that Jim’s good clothes were no longer hanging on the curtain rod and his suit case was open on the end of the bed. “I don’t want you to think that just because I said no, doesn’t mean that I don’t want to spend time with you. I missed you yesterday; worried.”

 

“I missed you too.” It was the most honest thing he could say and the emotion seeped into Jim’s tone. “But after all you said, I really didn’t see a point prolonging my hurt.”

 

“I know. I know it hurts.” Harvey held out his hands. “What are we supposed to do Jim? The truth remains the same.”

 

“I know **that** , Harvey.” Jim ground out upset by the conversation. “It’s not necessary to cover the same ground, I love you and I’m sorry that,” Jim paused and sought out words to express what he was feeling and came up short. “I’m just sorry.” He finished affectionately.

 

Harvey nodded and placed a hand upon Jim’s shoulders and they both looked at one another in renewed anguish at the physical touch. “Me too.” Nothing more was said for a few minutes as they stood there and stared into one another’s expressions, each wanting to say something even though there was really nothing to say on the matter.

 

“I uh, I finished the book.” Jim said moving to retrieve it from the table. He didn’t like pulling out from underneath Harvey’s touch but it was necessary.  “I really enjoyed it, thank you.” Jim held the book out to Harvey and didn’t meet his gaze until he realized Harvey wasn’t reaching out for the proffered object. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing I, just forgotten about you needing to return it.”

 

“It’s not mine to keep.” Jim spoke more of Harvey’s heart than he was of the book. He thrust it at Harvey. “Thank you again for trusting me.”

 

Reluctantly Harvey took the book, glanced down at it and then back up at Jim. “Of course, I trust you. You’re my friend.”

 

“That, I know.” Jim couldn’t help the slightly bitter tinge to his tone. He apologized softly with a shake of his head. He took a visible breath and looked at Harvey. “I thought about what you said, about us not being able to be together because of where we live. So, there’s really no point in me staying in Doochary when you’re the only reason I’m here in the first place.”

 

Harvey nodded and glanced down at the book before meeting Jim’s gaze. “And if I gave in? Let you sleep with me?”

 

Jim swallowed, obviously hungry for the intimacy but he remained respectful. “That would just hurt us both more, and as you said; you can’t put yourself through that. Therefore, I guess it’s better to have not known then,” The rest of the sentiment trailed off.

 

“And that means you have to leave right now?”

 

Jim’s gaze teared. “Tell me to stay, Harvey. Tell me to forget about Gotham and police work. Tell me you want me to stay.”

 

“You’re a cop!” Harvey exclaimed reaching out with a hand and taking one of Jim’s. “BI know. I can see it in you every time you talk about it. That’s not going to change for you Jim. You’d be miserable here if you were one of our officers where nothing ever happens. I can’t do that to you, and I won’t let you do it to yourself.”

 

“Then come with me!” Jim pleaded squeezing Harvey’s hand.

 

“Leave Violet, Alma’s people and my family behind you mean?”

 

Chest fallen Jim bowed his head forward once more. “No, of course not.” Jim cleared his throat of emotion and made eye contact with Harvey once more. “So, let **me** stay. Let me at least _try_.”

 

Harvey shook his head. “Circles Jim. That’s what we’re traveling here. One big circle of impossibility. I’m too old to do this; I love Alma and you deserve so much better than me. At the very least, someone in your own time zone.”

 

Jim rushed forward and placed his arms around Harvey’s shoulders and neck. He squeezed Harvey tight and chocked down a sob as Harvey’s arms went around him as well. “This isn’t right.” Jim insisted through tears. “I don’t want to say good bye.”

 

“It’s not even a choice.” Harvey whispered in return. He placed a kiss upon Jim’s cheek and held him tightly. “Good bye Jim Gordon.”

 

Jim squeezed harder. “No.”

 

“Good bye Jim.”

 

Jim’s body began to quake with tears. “I love you Harvey.” He whispered to the flesh of Harvey’s cheek before placing a kiss there.

 

Harvey said nothing in return, severed the embrace and left the room. Jim stood there for several minutes watching the door thinking that just maybe Harvey would return.

 

He didn’t.

 

NINE MONTHS LATER:

Two of the goats were dead and the third and last was obsessed with being near Einstein at all times. Harvey Bullock was an unadulterated mess. He had spent the first 3 months of Jim’s exit in Donegal with his family. If he understood one thing it was that he would have little time to grieve as he would be busy fending off too many teasing pranks and questions from relatives. The plan worked for a while but then his family reminded him why he had left with Alma in the first place and he escaped back to Doochary. At first the Doochary towns folk had been cold to him thinking him permanently gone, but once they realized he was back to stay they opened up their hearts to embrace him and his services again.

 

Not a day went by that Harvey didn’t think of Jim. Wonder what he was doing and if he was cleaning up the city like he said he wanted too. Then he saw a web article from an American paper and there was Jim Gordon’s smiling face, beneath a head line touting him as a hero. The smile was fake; as Harvey had seen his unguarded offerings and this political, oily mess of a smile was disquieting to say the least. But the papers seemed to eat it up. And why not? Jim was an attractive man and certainly someone to be used as a poster boy for justice.

 

And still Harvey wondered.

 

Jim Gordon was a walking, talking, shining example of what an uncorrupt and justice supporting detective was supposed to be. He worked around the clock in most cases as he had no family or relationships to prevent him from doing his best work twenty-four seven. What he lacked in a personal life he made up for in determination and was soon on the fast track to being groomed for a captaincy. He had already run for and won the union rep position for his fellow detectives and was not about to sit idly there. He had his sights set on police commissioner and he wasn’t going to stop until he had that position by the throat.

 

Not a day went by that Jim didn’t think of Harvey; ached for him. He wondered what he was doing and if he was happy in Doochary, and perhaps found someone not so ambitious as Jim was to love. He regretted not at least giving living there a try but in his heart, he knew that Harvey was right; his place was in Gotham and the city was in his blood. There was nothing he could do but surrender to reality and know that they had made the best decisions for themselves. It didn’t matter that it felt like the total opposite. Never mind that Jim cried himself to sleep most nights and obsessively replayed every moment he had spent with Harvey in his head. He didn’t want to forget a single detail. Reciting them over and over helped, but it also brought with it tears. He missed his friend and longed to know; just once; what it would have been like to kiss him. It didn’t matter that knowledge would have most likely made things worse, for Jim couldn’t see how the situation could be any more painful than it already was.

 

And still Jim wondered.

 

Harvey wasn’t certain he was in the right place, but when he told the desk sergeant whom he was there to see, the man gave him a look of pure annoyance at the mention of Jim Gordon’s name. He picked up the phone and dialed an extension and barked into the receiver that Jim had a visitor.

 

“Well how the hell am I supposed to know that?” the long-suffering sergeant of the night shift asked. There was some growled comment on the opposite end of the line and the sergeant sighed and held the phone a little away from his ear as he demanded, “Name?”

 

“Harvey Bullock.”

 

The sergeant repeated Harvey’s name into the phone complete with a mock Irish accent, but Jim had heard the name spoken the first time. He froze and realized his heartrate had exploded into a tempo that he could not breathe in time with. Harvey. Harvey Bullock was _here_. In Gotham; in Jim’s place of work; over nine months since Jim had left Doochary. Harvey was here. Taking a deep breath to center himself Jim rose from his desk and made his way to the front lobby. The sight of Harvey stole his breath and stopped him dead in his tracks.  It was Harvey; he truly was here; it wasn’t some prank but reality. Harvey had lost some weight, looked haggard but not unkempt. Jim knew he himself was broader; a little more muscular due to the fact that he exercised several times a week to alleviate his work-related stress. He moved cautiously to where Harvey stood near a bank of empty chairs. It was in the early morning hours and most everyone seated upon them had been interviewed and helped. That just left Harvey.

 

“Hi.” Harvey said, voice soft and gaze gentle.

 

“Hi yourself.” Jim answered and the words seemed heard a life time ago when Harvey was holding a gun and Jim had been limping. “You, you look,” Jim faltered but he smiled and searched Harvey’s expression.

 

“Awful.” Harvey stated contritely and looked around before asking, “Can we talk somewhere more private? Just for a few minutes?”

 

Jim nodded. “Yeah, come on.” He addressed the desk sergeant who waved him away without caring if Harvey signed in or not. Jim took advantage of his lax upholding of procedure and led Harvey to one of the interrogation rooms. He closed the door and locked it. “So, wha-” Jim fell silent as Harvey pulled him into his arms and hugged him tightly. Instinctively he returned the embrace and closed his eyes. “You feel so different.”

 

“Looks like you’ve been taking care of yourself at least.”

 

Jim pet the back of Harvey’s hair, that was even longer than when they had met. But he smelled the same and Jim wanted to breathe him in. “You haven’t. What’s wrong Harvey?” If the man said he was ill Jim was going to implode.

 

Harvey withdrew from Jim enough to take the younger male’s face in his hands. “I was wrong Jim. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go; by believing I could live without you but, I _can’t_.” Harvey swallowed and watched Jim’s gaze tear up and his own mirrored the sentiment. “Please tell me it’s not too late; that you still would want some old, daft, bastard like me?”

 

“Can I kiss you?” Jim managed to ask softly and Harvey nodded before pressing forward to touch his lips to Jim’s. They were soft, pliant, and just as warm as Harvey imagined they would be. It wasn’t but a few seconds before the chaste kiss gaze way to something far more impassioned. Jim surged forward and pulled Harvey against him, moaning into the kiss. His knees felt weak but he managed to remain standing. Although thinner, Harvey was still solid bulk against him and they shored one another up as their kisses evolved from innocent to fevered. After several moments, Jim severed the kiss and looked adoringly into Harvey’s gaze.

 

“I should have stayed.”

 

“You couldn’t have. You belong here and we both know it.” Harvey admonished gently. “I saw the articles on the web about you being a hero. I knew that you were in the right place then, but that I was in the wrong.”

 

“What about Alma? Violet’s goats? The chickens and Einstein?”

 

“I lied, two dead of old age, one sold; all eaten, and in quarantine awaiting release in two weeks.”

 

Jim couldn’t help but laugh at this a little and wiped a few tears from his eyes. “You left your family? And Alma’s people for me?”

 

Harvey nodded. “When you put it like that I sound like a fucking idiot but, yes. I chose you.”

 

Jim hugged Harvey tightly and closed his eyes. “I thought I’d never see you again until I took vacation and went to try and see you.”

 

“I’d of avoided you.” Harvey admitted. “This way is how it needs to be. Us; together.”

 

Jim kissed Harvey lightly and pulled away from his embrace. “I have to get you home; to my apartment. I’m not going to get any work done with you here as a distraction.” Jim grinned. “Let me tell the lieutenant that I’m knocking off early and I’ll be right back.” He paused and then kissed Harvey once more quickly. “Stay right here.” He pleaded with a face splitting grin.

 

Harvey held up a hand. “Promise. I’ll be here.”

 

Jim pointed at him as he reached for the door knob with his opposite hand to unlock it. “I’m trusting you.”

 

“I think we’ve proved you can do that.” Harvey admitted as Jim beamed at him and pulled the door open. His eyes were alight beneath the florescent bulbs and Harvey knew that thus far he made the correct choice.

 

An hour later Harvey was checked out of the hotel he had been staying in and all his luggage had been brought to Jim’s understated apartment. It was sparsely furnished but that was fine; the kitchen was functional and there was a couch and a bed, so Harvey figured whatever else they needed they could make due until they could buy it. He was unpacked for the most part and now that he and Jim had a shared address Harvey would have the books he had boxed up sent over by Ulicia who had offered to do so when he was settled. At present time however, Jim could not keep his hands to himself. They roamed Harvey’s body and inside and underneath his clothes seeking the warmth of his naked flesh. And kissing; Jim breathed it like oxygen and couldn’t stop kissing Harvey now that he had permission to do so. It was everything he expected it to be and far more.

 

For his part, Harvey gave as good as he got and it wasn’t long before the two of them were in Jim’s bed touching one another in the most intimate of ways. They explored with hands, fingers, mouths and tongues. Every sense they had was overwhelmed by the other, and neither would change anything for the world. Jim moaned Harvey’s name and thus liquified the bones of the older male. They were methodical in their traversing of skin and soon enough they were both covered in a shimmering coat of perspiration and gasping for air as they climaxed within a short amount of time from one another, only to begin repeating the process once more. By the time the sun had reached a midmorning place in the sky, the two were cuddled together and dozing off periodically. With the exception of Violet’s birth; Harvey had never been as happy in his life; and Jim certainly could say the same. He was happy.

 

“Harvey?”

 

“Yes, Junior?”

 

“What happens if you don’t take to Gotham as your home. If you’re miserable- “

 

“I won’t be.” Harvey assured him. He nuzzled into the golden softness of Jim’s hair. “I still have my cottage. We can vacation in Doochary and that would put me back to rights. Stop worrying about something that may never happen Jim.”

 

“I know, but it’s important to discuss such things. Just like you wanted to when I was visiting you. You knew I wouldn’t ultimately be happy in Doochary; that I **had** to live in Gotham. I want to make certain it’s not going to be the same for you. And if it is, I want to know what to expect as a solution.”

 

“Already told you that, didn’t I?” Harvey kissed Jim tenderly. “Stop fretting and go to sleep. I have a feeling round three or four will start soon.”

 

Jim ran his hand over the planes of Harvey’s stomach. “I missed you so much, Harvey. This isn’t some dream I’m going to wake up from, is it? I haven’t lost it completely and hallucinated you?”

 

“I’m really here, Jim.” Harvey assured for what had to be the tenth time. He didn’t mind as it repeatedly reminded him that he wasn’t dreaming either. He was naked in bed with Jim and no longer suffering. “We just have to find me a job so I can get a work visa.”

 

“Or I could marry you and we could go that route.” Jim lifted his head and kissed Harvey tenderly. “Not that I’m trying to rush you into anything.”

 

“It’s an option.” Harvey accepted stroking Jim’s bangs out of his eyes. “But only because I’m the marrying kind.”

 

“My kind.” Jim finished nuzzling close to his lover’s throat. “I think the respite has worked.” He snaked a hand beneath the covers and fondled Harvey’s cock to semi erect. “I think you’re stirring for another round.”

 

Harvey moaned and thrust up a little into Jim’s hand. “Definitely starting to feel something awake.” He kissed Jim greedily. “Keep doing that. Oh god, _Jim_.”

 

Harvey’s pleasure was music to Jim’s heart.


End file.
